There I am on a dating app chatting with a potential suitor. He doesn’t ask any questions or share much information about himself. Yet, after only a few days of “hello,” “good morning,” and “how was your day?” he asks for my phone number. My intuition whispers, “Follow your gut feeling! This is not a good idea.” I brush it aside. Maybe I’m just being judgmental, I think. Maybe he isn’t as intense as I feel. I ignore my inner voice. I give him the digits. And this is what transpired next.
Following Your Gut Feeling When Dating
He calls me on Facetime the very next day. I ignore his call because it’s 9am and I have an actual job. It also felt highly inappropriate of him to video call me without asking for my permission.
I don’t pick up and call him back instead. We chat for 20 minutes. He calls me again an hour later. I find it strange because, well, we just spoke. I ignore my intuition again and pick up. We chat for another 20 minutes. Later that night, he Facetimes me again. “Maybe he wants to make sure I’m not a catfish,’ I say to myself. I pick up. Turns out he’s the catfish; he appears older and heavier than his pics. We chat for another 20 minutes and, when I hang up, I know it’s too much too soon.
He then proceeds to text me 9 photos of himself and his children. My body tenses. My gut feeling whispers, “You see? I was right! He is too intense. Abort mission!”
So I ignore his text, feeling relieved that is the end of that. Until the next day when he texts me “good morning.” I reply quickly and shortly. He texts again mid way and I ignore his message. Later that night, my phone beeps and low and behold, I have 5 more photos of him and his children. I decide to let him know I am not interested, but I have a life and forget to text him. At midnight that very night, my phone beeps again. It wakes me up. I reach for the phone and see a message: Hello?
Oh. No. He. Didn’t.
The next morning I let him have it, sharing that his lack of boundaries and expectations are ridiculous. He doesn’t give up easily and tries to make it about me, claiming that in a “world of dick picks” I should be lucky that a man shares intimate moments of him and his family.
And that, my friends, it’s why it’s essential to trust your instincts. Following your gut feeling doesn’t mean you’re judgmental or too picky, it means you’re being discerning. Our inner voice is there to guide us and protect us. So, the next time you hear her speak to you when chatting with a potential suitor, abort mission.
Sujeiry Gonzalez (Love Sujeiry) is a professional writer, performer, and digital storyteller. Coined the Latina Carrie Bradshaw, she is the go-to chica for all things love and the Founder of LoveSujeiry.com, a digital platform sharing relationship advice and stories from a Latina perspective.