Throughout this season of The Bachelor, Juan Pablo keeps bringing up trust. If you trust him, you will bungee jump for him. If you trust him, you will sing to him like the true opera star that you are. If you trust him, you will trust that he’s not slut-shaming you, girl, he’s just worried about Camilla!
Now, it’s Andi’s turn to trust Juan Pablo. She receives the first one-on-one date on this week’s episode. And he wants to make sure she trusts him on this adventure. His words, not mine.
So they’re in New Zealand. And what’s more romantic than hot springs? Walking through “The Squeeze” – a cold water creek with muddy waters and crevices that are as tight as a virgin’s pepa. That’s where Juan Pablo takes Andi. I would have had a panic attack because I am a bit claustrophobic. To his defense, they did end up making out under a waterfall. That was hot.
They end up at dinner with some exploding mountains or volcanos. And fog. Lots of fog. My hair would have looked like this.
Next up is the group date, and it’s Cassandra’s 22nd birthday, y’all! The women keep complaining that they are on the group date. Even though that’s what happens on The Bachelor. On. Every. Season.
On this group date, they roll down a hill in a ball filled with water. And I wonder, when do these women get to know Juan Pablo? I get that Juan Pablo loves to try new things. He’s an adrenaline junkie. He’s adventurous. But you can’t connect while screaming and trying to catch your breath and not choke on water.
Oh, and he’s not connecting with Cassandra. Not at all. She’s so classy. (His words, not mine.) She’s so elegant. (His words, not mine.) But he’s not into her. So he sends her home. On her birthday! Cause he thinks”it’s the right time.” On her birthday!!!
Who gets the next one-on-one date? Claire! There was more slut-shaming this time. Kissing in the ocean at 4am is so inappropriate, Claire! I didn’t say no but I should have, Claire! I’m so over this dude. It really is a shame that the first Latino bachelor is such a douche. A macho, insensitive douche who send a girl home on her birthday.
Along with Kat, the next girl to go home after pouring out her heart about her alcoholic father right before the rose ceremony.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Guittagaga.