Recently, Shakira shocked fans and rattled the hearts of feminists with statements like this:
“He’s the prince that rescued me.”
And at that very moment I wanted to rescue her. I imagined kidnapping Shaki from her dungeon, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her awake while screaming, “What happened to the “Hips Don’t Lie” Shakira? What are your hips telling you now, woman?!” She’d shake her head and laugh. “Sujeiry! I’ve always been a silly romantic!”
She may just be right.
Apparently, Shakira is not in danger. Her husband, Gerard Pique, is not a jealous monster or control freak. Don’t believe me? Still want to rescue her from her castle? Here are five song lyrics that prove that Shakira has always been a hard-core traditionalist.
1. “Can’t you see? I’m at your feet!” – Whenever, Wherever
In “Whenever, Wherever,” Shakira gives all to her foreign love. No matter where they are in the world they will always be together. LIke, even if they are miles away. Or she has to climb the Andes mountains. She will work for their love. She will turn rain into sunshine, utilize Skype and FaceTime, rack up frequent flyer miles and all that romantic crap. Cause she’s at his feet, y’all! Now that’s gag-worthy dedication.
2. “There’s the man I chose. There’s my territory.” – Underneath Your Clothes
Who’s a control freak now, huh? In “Underneath Your Clothes,” Shakira shares that she does not like to share. So Shakira may be the one that’s keeping her man in a dungeon. Do you think I have to rescue him? I don’t know if I can carry that load. Regardless, this lyric proves it – what’s hers is hers. How very Pique of her.
3. “And all the things I deserve. For being such a good girl, honey.” – Underneath Your Clothes
Just like my momma taught me, Shakira believes that women receive good love when they are good girls. Unlike Shakira, however, my momma trusts men as much as she trusts New York City landlords. Not much! (Yes, Mami, the rent is still too damn high.) Yet, according to Shakira, good girls always fantasize about their prince.
4. Don’t you know it, babe. I’m only half a body without your embrace. – Your Embrace
Whoa there, Shaki! You do know that you are complete without a man’s hug, right? Right?! This lyric from the song, “Your Embrace,” begs to differ. And it worries me. Men are awesome an all. Their packages do wonders when delivered correctly. But if you feel you’re walking around with half a body, well, how do you function? Literally and metaphorically. Do you only shake one hip now? For now, I’ll give you a pass on creative license.
5. “Cuando alguien se va, que se queda? Sufre mas.” – La Despedida
This song is gut wrenching. These lyrics will make you want to suffer. No, seriously. She says: when someone you love leaves all that is left is suffering. I’m crying with just the thought. I want to crawl into a ball because she’s reminded me of all my failed relationships. Oh Shakira, you’ve transformed me into a hopeless romantic. Or just a Bitter Betty.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/[email protected]