Last week, I wanted to catch a red eye to California, purchase implants from Dr. 90210, and knock on the door of the Playboy Mansion. You see, Hugh Hefner was single and ready to mingle after his fiance, Crystal Harris, stomped on his frail, 85-year- old heart.
How dare you Crystal?! How dare you trample over the heart of the elderly?!
Apparently, Hugh has already moved on with Anna Sophia Berglund, Ms. January 2011. She has moved into Hef’s befroom to bengay his bruised heart and they already call each other “babe.”
It must be true love!
And now I must unpack my bags. You have broken this peso diggers heart for the last time, Hugh!