So I never read 50 Shades of Grey. Once I learned that it was based on Twilight fan fiction I was turned off. Then friends on Facebook began posting quotes from the book. The quotes were hilarious, and not in a good way. A few examples:
“Never trust a man who can dance.”
“He’s my very own Christian Grey popsicle.”
And the worst of them all:
“The orange juice tastes divine. It’s thirst-quenching and refreshing.”
If that isn’t bad writing I don’t know what is.
Still, the movie is on. 50 Shades of Grey will star Dakota Johnson – daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith – and Sons of Anarchy Charlie Hunnam.
The picks left me underwhelmed, particularly Hunnan. Sure he was a hot twink in Queer as Folk, but I just don’t find him irresistible enough to let him tie me up…in my imagination.
This got me thinking. Who in Hollywood would I let paddle my nargas? It be a Latino so he’d understand my coño’s and carajos as he bends me over. Here is my list of Latino celebs that should have been Christian Grey.
Photo Credit: Wiki.