Latinx Women Share Thoughts About Being Happily Single | Love & Dating

Latinx Women Share Why They’re Happily Single

I often ask God to send me a man the good old fashion way. Being happily single sounds nice, but sharing my life with a partner sounds so much better. I want to open my front door one day and BAM! there he is with a bouquet of peonies. “It’s finally happened,” I shout while wrapping my arms around his neck. He embraces me in his strong, tan, hairy arms and we live happily ever after.

I’m back from my reverie. This is not my life. I am single and stumbling through online dating apps. As I swipe left and left and left, I wonder, should I just suck it up and find ways to be happily single? Online dating feels like a part-time retail job that you’re forced to clock into because you’re saving money for Spring Break in Cancun. (True story.)

I’m not being fatalistic. If you’ve received as many grammatically incorrect messages as I have, you’d wave the white flag and bid Mexico in March adios.

What’s worse are men that chat with you without ever reading your profile. They peruse my photos and hit up my Inbox, like, “hey mami. ur beautiful. where u from?” How hard is it to press Shift+H, man?

By this point, I’m fuming because he cannot capitalize and he didn’t read my bio that clearly states I’m from “Long Island.” It also means he didn’t chuckle at my well-crafted one-liners or review my likes and dislikes. If he had, he’d know that it’s The Worst to call me Mami.

being happily single

It’s Tough Being Happily Single

So, yea, it’s tough being happily single at 40 something. This is why I pray to meet a man the good old fashion way, like at the supermarket while I grab a white chocolate and hazelnut bar. Our hands touch. Eyes meet. We try to decipher our physical traits underneath our masks while maintaining 6 feet of distance. I can tell he smiles underneath the mask because his eyes crinkle up. We exchange our contact info through Airdrop because we can’t make contact without a negative PCR test. And that, my friends, is romance!

Till then, I will try to find ways to be happily single, like, Liz, 35 from San Diego. She feels my plight and has decided to take a break from dating. I’m just exhausted,” she admitted. Liz is looking for butterflies, that “za za zoo,” like Carrie Bradshaw said in Sex and the City. “I’m tired of inconsistent men who say they’ll call and don’t.” 

Finding Joy In Work

Other Latinx, however, find happiness in their single status due to their career. Relationships can sometimes deter us from making that money, honey. And, Janelle, 37, from Brentwood, NY, is not compromising her coin for a man. She lives a comfortable life, doesn’t have to compromise, and wants to keep and use all of her money as she sees fit. “I have a fear of getting divorced and losing half my pension,” she expressed candidly.

With the divorce rate at 38% as of February 2020, it’s a valid concern, especially when you hear horror stories of women giving up half of their retirement. But not all career-driven women want be single because they are afraid of losing it all. Rebecca, 23, from New York City, just doesn’t want to get off track professionally. “I know that men and those gooey feelings of love serve as a distraction,” she said, “and I refuse to fall for someone and fall off track.”

RELATED: Waiting for Good Old Fashion Love

Ultimately, Rebecca is laser-focused on her professional and personal growth. “I’m on my grind right now,” she said of her mindset, “I know I need to work on me and my career before I can commit to someone.”

And Also, Self-Love!

Ah, yes, let’s not forget that self-love is the best love. As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?” Leigh, 24, from Philadelphia says amen to that. She has spent the last three years bettering her relationship with herself. “I became exhausted with trying to make someone else happy without giving myself that same attention,” Leigh said about her last relationship.

She’s also learned a valuable lesson in self-love as a single woman. “You have to be happy and love yourself before you share that same love and happiness with someone else.”

That’s the key. You have to discover who you are, what makes you tick, and what you value before committing to a partner. So embrace where you are as a single woman. Instead of swiping right or left, turn inward. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll meet him in the snack aisle.

About Author /

Sujeiry Gonzalez (Love Sujeiry) is a Digital Publisher, Author, Connector, and Self-Love Advocate. Founder of LoveSujeiry.com, her mission is to provide expert resources and insightful and relatable content that guides Latinx women to love and embrace their authentic selves. Her writing has been published in Hip Latina, Well + Good, Madamenoire, Latina, YourTango. She also hosted her own radio show on SiriusXM (LoveSujeiry). Currently, Sujeiry resides on Long Island with her son, Evan, enjoying all things astrology (Aries sun, Capi rising!), hosting (she throws a mean party), and karaoke (she’s always Riri).

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