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Ask Sujeiry: Should I Dump the Shy Guy That I’m Dating?



Ask Sujeiry: Should I Dump the Shy Guy That I’m Dating?

Relationship advice for a woman who doesn’t know if she should dump the shy guy she’s dating. Should she cut him lose or give him time to prove his manliness?

ShyYour shy guy may just surprise you.

Dear Sujeiry,

I am dating a guy who is shy. He is so sweet but I need some umph. He just doesn’t have any game.

I am used to men who have swagger and are confident. I like my shy guy. He treats me so well. He is sensitive, thoughtful and kind. I feel terrible wanting to dump him because he isn’t smooth and confident. So, what should I do? We just started dating. Should I give him more time?


The Trouble with Shy Guys


Dear The Trouble with Shy Guys,

I’ve been here before! Shy guys can be an enigma . Not because they are mysterious but because I also don’t know what to do with them.

[ALSO READ: Ask Sujeiry: Is Taking a Break in a Relationship a Bad Idea?]

I get wanting to feel that “umph.” A confident and smooth man is sexy. He knows what he wants (or at least he appears to know what he wants). He makes women feel desired and protected. Shy guys are usually not aggressive. So I can see how you feel that his kindness is not enough.

So, should you dump him? Yes and no.

If he has qualities that you are seeking in a partner, give him time to open up and show you his manly man side. But only if you have feelings for him. If you’re not interested in him romantically, cut him loose. You don’t want to lead him on and crush what seems to be an already tender ego.  If you do like him and enjoy his company, boost his confidence by communicating your desires and reassuring him. Tell him that you’d like him to be more complimentary and assertive. Show him that you are into him, and that it is okay for him to open up and lead like a man. Once he’s comfortable being himself he may just surprise you.

Love strongly and wisely,


Have a relationship question for Sujeiry? Go to the contact page and Ask Sujeiry!

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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