I met a great guy who treats me amazing but has two kids (5 and 8 years old). He doesn’t have full custody but does see them every other weekend. It’s frustrating only because I don’t feel like I am a priority. If something happens to his kids in school, he has to be there. If a kid is sick, he can’t see me. He’s cancelled on me a few times because of his children. I know it may sound selfish but I get annoyed when he does.
So, what should I do? We’ve only been dating three months but I’ve met his kids and he wants to get serious. I really like him. This relationship is special! I’m confused about dating a man with kids and taking our relationship to the never level. I don’t know if I can be a stepmom at my age (I am only 25 while he is 32). It’s a big burden and a big deal! What’s your relationship advice?
Two Kids Too Many
Dear Two Kids Too Many,
Should you date a man with two kids? You already are! The better question is can you build a relationship and a life with a man where you will have to be a partner and a step-mother.
That’s how serious this is. Most single mothers and fathers don’t want to waste their time. They have a big responsibly as parents and want to share the load with a partner down the line. They also don’t introduce their kid(s) to just anyone. You’ve met his kids. He’s taking your relationship very seriously.
As for the canceling of plans for his children, that is the reality of dating a man with kids. (If he’s a good father.) You are right; you are not the priority. At least not all the time. I am sure he is trying to find that balance. However, his kids are and may always be his top concern. If something goes down with his children (and it always does because they’re children!) he’s going to drop whatever plans and break whatever promises he made to you. That is his duty as a good father.
So, should you take this relationship to the next level? That’s up to you. If you want to be his woman you also have to be a mother figure, even if it’s part time. That the truth. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Love strongly and wisely,
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