I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. Three years ago, I got pregnant but it was an ectopic pregnancy. They removed my tubes. This year has also been a nightmare due to family issues and problems with the law.
Now, my husband is really cold with me. We don’t kiss or have sex anymore, even though we’re still young. He’s 27 and I’m 28. I ask him why he doesn’t show affection. He looks at me and tells me that all I do is nag and that I am miserable. What should I do?
Missing His Kisses
Dear Missing His Kisses,
I am so sorry for your turmoil. I cannot imagine losing a baby and having to deal with family issues all at the same time. And now you feel unwanted by your partner.
So, what can you do? Take what he says at face value. You are unhappy. Maybe you are bitter due to all that has happened. Have you mourned the loss of your child? Have you dealt with what you’re feeling emotionally? If you haven’t you may be miserable. You may be radiating misery.
The thing about men is that they want us to be confident and sexy. Sure, we can be emotional and need them, but they don’t want us to be needy basket cases. Most men love women who are resilient, who are fun to be around. If you are still hurting from your loss, you are not that woman. If you are not that woman he may not find you as attractive as he once did.
Another solution is to seek counseling. I am not a therapist and many women who lose a child need help. There’s no shame in it. Also, he may be hurting from the loss. Maybe your misery reminds him of the baby. You should go to counseling together.
Work on getting better. Get back to the old you so you can be happier with you. Radiate happiness and your man may just want to kiss you again…and more.
Love strongly and wisely,
Photo Credit: Flickr/nataliejohnson.