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Ask Sujeiry: Her Past Scares Me

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Ask Sujeiry: Her Past Scares Me

Distraught Woman

Battling The Past

Dear Sujeiry,

I’m in a long distance relationship with this girl in Florida and I’m in NYC.  I really care for this girl and I won’t cheat on her because I’m not those kind of guys. The thing that bothers me is her past. Yea, I know the past is the past but she tells me things like she’s proud of it.

I am also a jealous guy. I wanna trust this girl but I’ve been played before. I’m scared she will be unfaithful to me and make me look like an idiot. I don’t want tell you all the negatives about her because she has a lot positives too. She tells me everyday that she cares for me and loves me and she is a great listener. Still, her past really bothers me. I keep my mouth shut because I don’t wanna argue though It’s killing me inside. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Her Past Scares Me

Dear Her Past Scares Me,

First of all, I commend you for having a long distance relationship. It is difficult to build trust and to commit to someone when far away. Now, get ready, because I am going to set you straight, mister!

Her past. Yes, she has one. Everyone does. But you have to realize that who she was then may not be who she is now. On the other hand, I do understand why you may be weary of her past indiscretions, especially if she has been a serial cheater.

Bad habits can be hard to break.

Still, you chose her, with her baggage and all that she brings. You are also not so innocent, having a jealous streak and all. Most women don’t want to be with a jealous man, yet she is with you. Most men don’t want to be a cheater or a promiscuous girl (assuming this is her past behavior), yet you are with her. What matters is that you are together, trusting and loving one another in the present moment. So what should you go? Release your insecurities. Accept her past as well as yours. Honestly, these issues are more about you than her. As you said, you struggle with trust because you’ve been played. Until you work on yourself and leave the past behind, you will never be happy or be able to fully trust a woman.

Love strongly and wisely,

Sujeiry, 1st Lady of Love

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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