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Ask Sujeiry: What To Do If The Love In A Marriage Is Gone

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Ask Sujeiry: What To Do If The Love In A Marriage Is Gone

No Love In A MarriageDear Sujeiry, 1st Lady of Love,

I’ve been married for 4 years and the love has changed. We don’t do things any more like we used to. We used to watch movies together and do other things to spend quality time. Oh, and he is mad all the time now. Sometimes I don’t know what to do when he is like that. What do I do to fix the relationship?

Sincerely,

Is The Love Is Gone?

Dear The Is Love Is Gone?

Relationships are work. Sure, they can be fun and there are moments when the love and connection just flows, but that phase is not forever.  The Honeymoon Stage, as they call it, is temporary. What comes after is even more beautiful and special than hot cheeks and sweet nothings.  What follows is COMMITMENT.  And that’s when it get tricky.

When we’ve been with someone for a long period of time, as you have, people become comfortable. They stop putting as much effort into the relationship and let themselves go. Costumbre is wonderful as you should be able to be yourself  with your partner, but that very costumbre can also kill the romance and excitement.

So what can you do? First, speak with your spouse. He is probably feeling exactly the same but is showing it in a different form. You show it through sadness and he through anger. The important thing is that you are both still feeling something.

Indifference is the death of a relationship.

Now, what do you say when having your heart to heart? Express your needs and expectations. Calmly tell him (no nagging or whining!) you want to spend quality time with him like you used to. Tell him you miss him and love him and want to reconnect. Also, be ready to compromise. What you want may not be what he wants. You are dealing with another human being with his own feelings and desires.

Lastly, you have to be realistic and embrace the fact that your relationship may not go back to what it used to be. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Yes, the Honeymoon Stage is lovely but the real excitement comes from building with your partner. So grab your partner by the hand, roll up your sleeves, and get to work.

Love strongly and wisely,

Sujeiry, 1st Lady of Love

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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