I’ve been in a relationship for two years and recently slipped up. I went to my best friend’s birthday party and kissed another guy. I was really drunk. It just happened when we were dancing.
I feel awful but I don’t know it this is really cheating. Is it? Should I tell my boyfriend? I’m never going to see the guy I kissed again and I won’t do it again. What should I do?
Kiss and Tell?
Dear Kiss and Tell?
You got yourself in trouble. You made a mistake and you seem remorseful. Did you cheat when you rubbed up on a man on the dance floor and kissed him? It all depends on your idea of cheating.
For me, cheating can happen in a number of ways. There’s emotional cheating, where someone is having an emotional relationship and feeling feelings for another. There is sex as cheating, whether it’s a one-time thing and/or a full-blown affair. There’s a mix of all. And, yes, kissing someone other than your man can constitute as cheating. At least for me.
Question is: what did you and your guy decide is the meaning of cheating? What is inappropriate behavior? From the duress in your email, it may be that you haven’t discussed the parameters, so you don’t have these answers. Or you do know you messed up but you’re hoping that I tell you differently.
Should you tell him? I believe in treating those as you want to be treated. I would want to know therefore I would tell; for others, ignorance is bliss. Regardless, you must have a conversation with your guy about the issues in your relationship. You kissed another guy. A person in a relationship doesn’t kiss someone else “by accident.” You wanted to and so you did. Don’t blame it on the alcohol. Take responsibility and realize that these are signs that you are unhappy in your relationship, and possibly with yourself.
Love strongly and wisely,
Photo Credit: Datingish.