I’ve been single for about three years and I am tired of dating. In all this time I haven’t met anyone that I really connect with or have any real chemistry with. Most guys that I meet are nice and put together; they’re good on paper. They have everything that I want but…I just don’t feel it.
My friends say that I am being too picky, but I want to feel butterflies. So far it’s been…eh. So what’s your advice? Do I just go for the guy that’s good for me or wait for the guy who will make me feel that feeling even if he doesn’t feel close at all? How long should single women wait for “the one”?
Waiting for the One
Dear Waiting for the One,
Do I have great advice for you! It’s simple – follow your heart. Because it’s the only thing that’s going to tell you whether you should settle or not. I can’t tell you whether you should settle for a guy that’s good on paper or wait for the man of your dreams. That’s your call.
Settling, however, is exactly what you’d be doing. You already know that. Maybe you’d grow to love one of the nice men you meet and have a wonderful life. But, in the back of your mind and deep in your heart, you’d always wonder ‘what if’? I’ll tell you. What if you do wait for timing and luck and God to work in tandem to bring you your guy? What if you get serious with a guy you feel nothing for only to miss out on the love that you deserve? The love that feels right?
I have to say, butterflies and chemistry, they don’t last forever. You have to work on that in a relationship. But at least you’d work toward something that you had in the first place.
So, you are already doing what you should be doing – following your heart. Following my heart led me to break up with my recent ex and later I met my boyfriend, now fiancé and father of my child. I was a few days shy of turning 36 years old when I met him. I was also afraid of being alone and single. Right before meeting my boyfriend, I briefly dated a guy who was sweet, put together and really liked me, but I didn’t feel those damn butterflies. I ended it before it began. I followed my heart…and here I am.
When will it happen? No one knows. What I do know is that when you are open, self-first, and set on receiving what you deserve (even if you have to wait) “the one” will be on his way.