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Ask Sujeiry: How Do I Handle the Pressure of Being a Virgin?



Ask Sujeiry: How Do I Handle the Pressure of Being a Virgin?

A young woman asks Sujeiry for relationship advice regarding losing her virginity. Should she wait for the right guy or just have sex with the next guy?

SunflowerLosing your virginity is ultimately a woman’s choice.

Dear Sujeiry,

I am 21 years old and I am still a virgin. I recently graduated college and don’t know what to do with myself with dating because of my V card. I haven’t had sex because I haven’t found the right guy but I feel if I don’t give it up I am missing out on a relationship. I don’t know a lot of men who want to be with a virgin or be a woman’s first.

I’m torn. Should I just give it up to the next guy I date? Or should I still wait? 


Holding On to the V Card


Dear Holding on to the V Card,

Ah, virginity. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with the precious V-card. But it is yours to do with how you see fit. I can’t tell you to go run amuck and give it to whatever man comes along. I will tell you that the decision is yours to make. And it isn’t always an easy one.

[ALSO READ: Is There Ever a Time to Settle in Love? And Signs That You Are]

Why haven’t you had sex? You said it – you are waiting for someone special. So, why change that? Is it because you feel it will never happen, meeting a great guy? Or are your loins taking over?

If it’s your hormones maybe you’re body is ready to do the deed. Question is are you ready emotionally? Are you ready mentally? Losing your virginity does something to a gal, especially if you’ve waited so long. So just make sure you are prepared for the emotional, mental and physical affects. And that the man that you give it to is one that you trust.

Also, before giving it up be honest with the chosen one. If he’s okay with being your first, tell him your expectations. If you want him to be your buddy, speak up. If you want more, say so. The conversation before the sex is really important. You don’t want to lose your virginity and never sleep with the same guy again. That’s like going back to the drawing board.

Last thing – having sex with a man doesn’t guarantee a relationship. I say this because you mention wanting to be committed. Keep this in mind when deciding what to do. Don’t lose your virginity because you hope to be someone’s girlfriend.

Love strongly and wisely,


Have a question for Sujeiry? Then go to the contact page and Ask Sujeiry!

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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