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Ask Sujeiry: How Do I Make A Long Distance Relationship Work?

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Ask Sujeiry: How Do I Make A Long Distance Relationship Work?

Dear Sujeiry,

I am currently in this long distance relationship. I went to high school with this guy but was never really close friends with him. FB has been some what of a Match.com; it is because of FB that I’ve come into contact with this man that I’ve been getting to know without physical contact.

Soooo..I’m supposed to go visit him next month. I go back and forth with this long distance thing. I finally am at an age and place in my life that it would sure be nice to have someone to have and hold on a regular basis. Not to mention the absence of sex; I feel like I’m a lion in a cage! Plus, I have children and I don’t see myself moving. What do you think?

Have a fabulous day, Sujeiry!  I think you ROCK!

Sincerely,

Distant and Unsure

Dear Distant and Unsure,

First off, thank you for your question and for reading my content! I truly appreciate your support and think you rock as well! Now, let’s get to your question so I can try to help you as best I can.

Long distance relationships are interesting. On the one hand, you are far apart and can truly get to know the person you are dating. Sex isn’t at the forefront because you aren’t physically close enough for it to be the priority; and that’s a great thing! Plus, there is also the romanticism of it all. Who doesn’t want to have romantic weekends away like in the movies?

But, as you know, there are challenges. You don’t see each other often so it can get lonely. You don’t have sex regularly and are horny all the time! You also don’t get to see their quirks and day to day routine, which makes it a longer process when deciding if this person is really “it.”

Honestly, long distance isn’t for everyone. You have to ask yourself if this man and this relationship is worth the obvious sacrifices. First, you have to see him, spend that time with him, and feel the spark up close and personal.

Just because you talk for hours and get along doesn’t mean the chemistry will be there when you are actually spending time together.

Then there is the question of the future and what this will be. When in a long distance relationship, this question must come up even sooner. You don’t want to be physically apart for 3 years.

Usually, long distance couples go the distance because they see a future. Someone moves. There is compromise. There are changes.

I am a hopeless romantic so I will move for love, but you say you are not willing to? Maybe it’s him. Maybe you are just happy where you are and don’t want to disrupt the lives of your children. All valid reasons. But, what will be of you and your boyfriend? Will he move? This is a conversation you must have. If neither are willing to relocate, then what’s the point of it all?

You cannot be in a long distance relationship forever and expect it to last.

Hope I helped and thanks again for your support and being a loyal Love Sujeiry reader!

Love strongly and wisely,

Sujeiry

DISCLAIMER: The advice offered by Sujeiry Gonzalez are solely the opinion of Sujeiry Gonzalez and should not be considered as a form of therapy and/or diagnosis or treatment of any kind. If counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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