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Ask Sujeiry: He’s Hold and Cold. So Is He Interested or Not?

Hot and Cold Heart
Flickr: Lexnger.


Ask Sujeiry: He’s Hold and Cold. So Is He Interested or Not?

If a man is hot and cold, is he not interested? Some relationship advice from an expert for a woman who is not sure if the guy she is dating is into her.

Dear Sujeiry,

There is a guy I just met and it seemed to me as if it was going well. We were talking a lot and also hanging out a lot. All at once he stopped texting me as much and also inviting me to hang out. Sometimes he is so up to hang out and he writes me a lot. Sometimes he is too cold and doesn’t do anything. Why do you think this is? Is he suddenly uninterested in me?


Hot and Cold, In and Out


Dear Hot and Cold, In and Out,

This guy seems to be playing games. With the little information you’ve given me that’s all I can deduce. Unless you are casually dating. If this is the case, he’s probably dating other women and taking your relationship (is it really a relationship?) as it comes. That’s why he calls when he wants and hangs out with you when he wants. Key phrase: when he wants!

Also, ask yourself these questions: Do I get to see him when I like? Is he only available when he desires? Can I schedule a time to see him or just call him to hang out? If you’ve answered no to these questions you are dating him on his terms. Is that what you want?

[ALSO READ: Is He My Man or Not? Defining Your Undefined Relationship]

As for if he’s interested, it doesn’t look good! He may not be looking to get into something serious. He may also not think he’s doing anything wrong. Honestly, if this thing is in the early stages, he really isn’t. Now you have to decide if you want to keep dating him or not. You can keep it casual and have fun, but only if your feelings aren’t being played with. If you feel you really like him and he’s not meeting you halfway, you should put your foot down and not see him the next time he asks to hang out. Or you should date another guy that cares enough to see you often because he loves spending time with you!

Love strongly and wisely,


Have a relationship question for Sujeiry? Go to the contact page and Ask Sujeiry!

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.


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