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Ask Sujeiry: My Friends with Benefits Wants to Date Me

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Ask Sujeiry: My Friends with Benefits Wants to Date Me

What do you do when your friends with benefits wants to date you?! Sujeiry dishes dating advice.

Dear Sujeiry,

I have been on a friends with benefits relationship with someone for a year and six months. At first it was just for fun. Then we started to trust each other more. Recently I told him that I had feelings for him and that I wanted for us to become a couple. He always said that he cared about me, his reasoning was that if he didn’t care he wouldn’t continue to sleep with me. I mean he’s driven over an hour just to see me before. But he doesn’t want a relationship. What should I do about this?

Sincerely,
Friends with Benefits But Want More

Dear Friends with Benefits But Want More,

It’s been a year and six months and he’s still not committing to you. Sure, he’s still in your life and drives hours to see you, but (I repeat) he’s still not committing to you.  If a commitment is what you want and he says he’s not ready, then, it’s not going to happen.

I’m not saying he doesn’t care about you. You can ask any guy if they’ve driven over an hour only to have sex with a girl they have no connection with and most would say no. But he is also your friend, so maybe he makes the trip to see you because he enjoys your company, not because he wants to be with you seriously. It’s just an added bonus that he’s going to get some sexual healing as well.

So what should you do? Be honest about what you want. If not, you will remain friends with benefits for another year and a half. if he sticks with his story and says he doesn’t want a relationship but cares about you, then you have to decide whether sleeping with him is enough.  He may change his mind and want to commit to you down the line, or he may not. All we can do is live and make decisions in the now.  The present is the only guarantee.

So what are you going to do? Hope for the best or choose to take a stand and cut the benefits from this friendship? The choice is yours.

Love strongly and wisely,

Sujeiry

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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