I have this problem. I’ve been with this guy for 6 months and he’s great but lately I don’t feel like I’m attracted to him. He’s not really the person I thought he was and he’s too immature for me. But, honestly I’m scared of being alone and not finding the right guy and he treats me good. I don’t want to hurt him…what should I do??
Dear Fearing Spinsterhood,
No matter how wonderful a man is or how well he treats you, you shouldn’t stay with him if you’re not feeling him. Attraction is HUGE! You have to look at the person you’re with and think, yum! You have to look at him and proudly think, that’s my man. If your man is immature, and you’re turned off by this, you’re not feeling any of this!
But I get wanting to stay with him. If you’re focused on marriage and children, and you feel like you’re running out a time, being single can be a terrifying experience. So you have to change your focus. Instead of worrying about “finding the right guy,” examine your fears and why you would settle (that is what you’re doing) for a man you don’t desire. Instead of dwelling on possible spinsterhood, go out, mingle and meet men who may be right for you.
One thing is certain: you must end this relationship. If he’s as nice as you claim, he deserves to be with a woman who wants him, not to be dragged into an empty and emotionally disconnected relationship for another 6 months. He may be crushed at first but he will thank you for freeing him up to meet a woman that wants him, just like you will eventually meet the man that is right for you. Last words: don’t settle for a man you don’t want because you are afraid of not finding the man that you do want.
Love strongly and wisely,