Tengo un problemita. I am about to turn 21 on the 26th of this month…I met this guy and he is so romantic and sweet and I even opened up to him about some very personal things that have occurred in my life, we’ve been hitting it off great. I met him at a salsa club here in San Antonio, TX. He said he was 28 at the time. Here we are three weeks later; I find out he’s 35. That’s a huge age difference. I swear he looks 28ish. Este hombre tiene cara de bebe, but a beautiful heart and look on life. Should I stay or should I go? He’s 14 years older than me!! :-/
Bueno Problemita, I know someone who met someone where there was a big age gap. One of my best friends met a man when we were in college. She was almost 21 years old (just like you!) and he was 32. The difficulties Gonzo speaks of (uncommon interests, awkwardness when with friends, funny looks) were all there. He didn’t like hanging out with any of her peeps because he felt we were all young and immature. And let’s face it, we were. She did marry him, however, and they have a beautiful child together. But they are now also divorced. Divorce happens often but my friend did tell me that the age gap was a factor. He thought his opinions and advice were above hers because he had more life experience, and no matter how old she was (they were divorced right before she turned 30) he always treated her like the young girl he met, not the woman she’d become.
So should you stay or should you go? I can’t tell you either way. My only advice to you is to look at what it is you want right now. Does it correlate with what he wants? A man at 36 usually wants to get married and have kids soon. If your relationship gets to that level, will you be ready at only 20 going on 21? The fact that you came to us for advice is a pretty good indication that you like this guy a lot and this isn’t just a fun fling for you. So you better tread carefully and make sure you know what you want and that he can provide it and vice versa. Oh, and the fact that he lied about his age is a bit of a red flag. They say the dynamic of a relationship and the way a couple relates to each other never really changes. Just think about it…
Love strongly and wisely,