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Ask Sujeiry: We Dated. Why Did He Stop Calling Me?

Ask Sujeiry: We Dated. Why Did He Stop Calling Me?

Advice

Ask Sujeiry: We Dated. Why Did He Stop Calling Me?

Relationship advice for a woman who is wondering why he stopped calling after dating a man for three years but never being in a serious relationship.

Angry Woman
When a man wants to commit to you, he just will.

Dear Sujeiry,

I had the first spark of my life with a guy I have been seeing for 3 years now. It wasn’t a committed relationship but the relationship was pretty close in a sense. This guy treated me special and made me feel there was hope that maybe we would get more serious. He knew how I felt and what I wanted as I’ve never held my tongue. He knew I was feeling him and what my hopes were.

Now he’s disappeared on me. I wrote him a letter outlining our relationship and asking him why, why, why…??? He never called me again and still won’t talk to me and it’s been 6 months. Why would he do that to someone he made feel so special? At this point, I just want to remain friends but he’s not even trying to be a friend!

Sincerely,

Left Hanging

—-

Dear Left Hanging,

While reading your email, I had to resist my urge to yell at the screen. Not because you were left hanging, but because I believe you thought this relationship was more serious that it really was.

You say you dated this man for three years, but you weren’t committed. Three years and he wasn’t your man. So, he could date other women (and I’m sure he did even if you may not know it, or deny it). He was a single man. But you held on, hoping that one day he’d decide to commit and be with you.

[ALSO READ: Being on the Shelf Or On The Hook (Video)]

This is what I’ve learned about men in my 35 years of existence: when a man wants to be with you, he will. No excuses. No hesitation. They will move mountains when they feel a woman is “it.” If he sticks around without commitment, it’s because you’ve allowed him to, not because he’s eventually going to change his mind after three years of dating and be with you. So I think he decided to move on. Maybe he even met another woman. I think he stopped calling and has left you hanging because he doesn’t care about you as much as you think. You may think he treated you special. But how is stringing a woman along for three years special treatment?

So, let it go. Leave him be. If he comes back around, don’t open that door. ‘Cause he may just leave you hanging once again.

Love strongly and wisely,

Sujeiry

Have a relationship question for Sujeiry? Go to the contact page and Ask Sujeiry!


Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons.

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Sujeiry is a natural storyteller, dynamic radio show host and the proud CEO of LoveSujeiry.com. She's been at this digital media and content creation game for 15 plus years and pours her heart and soul onto LoveSujeiry.com - the only site for Latinas on all things love. After realizing there was a void in the love/relationship Latina media market, she took matters into her own hands and became the go-to sex and relationship expert on Latinx platforms. The former sex and relationship expert on Latina.com works diligently and passionately to encourage women of color to be their authentic selves as they navigate all things love.

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