I had the first spark of my life with a guy I have been seeing for 3 years now. It wasn’t a committed relationship but the relationship was pretty close in a sense. This guy treated me special and made me feel there was hope that maybe we would get more serious. He knew how I felt and what I wanted as I’ve never held my tongue. He knew I was feeling him and what my hopes were.
Now he’s disappeared on me. I wrote him a letter outlining our relationship and asking him why, why, why…??? He never called me again and still won’t talk to me and it’s been 6 months. Why would he do that to someone he made feel so special? At this point, I just want to remain friends but he’s not even trying to be a friend!
Dear Left Hanging,
While reading your email, I had to resist my urge to yell at the screen. Not because you were left hanging, but because I believe you thought this relationship was more serious that it really was.
You say you dated this man for three years, but you weren’t committed. Three years and he wasn’t your man. So, he could date other women (and I’m sure he did even if you may not know it, or deny it). He was a single man. But you held on, hoping that one day he’d decide to commit and be with you.
This is what I’ve learned about men in my 35 years of existence: when a man wants to be with you, he will. No excuses. No hesitation. They will move mountains when they feel a woman is “it.” If he sticks around without commitment, it’s because you’ve allowed him to, not because he’s eventually going to change his mind after three years of dating and be with you. So I think he decided to move on. Maybe he even met another woman. I think he stopped calling and has left you hanging because he doesn’t care about you as much as you think. You may think he treated you special. But how is stringing a woman along for three years special treatment?
So, let it go. Leave him be. If he comes back around, don’t open that door. ‘Cause he may just leave you hanging once again.
Love strongly and wisely,
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