I am from the UK and have lived there all my life although my Dad is Peruvian. While I studied at the university, I spent a year in Mexico and met a Mexican man. We both thought it was just a holiday romance but it’s been almost 3 years now! We’ve traveled together and lived together for months at a time but our relationship is marked the time where we are apart. He lives in the States and I am currently working in the States for a few months. He has applied to do his Masters in the UK next year.
Now, I am debating our future. We both want a big family and our ideas of family life are very similar. But here is the issue. He has his heart set on having his family in Mexico. I love my family very much and can’t imagine having a family without them around. I don’t mind not being in the UK and I love Mexico so that part is fine. But how can we ever compromise when the mid-point between Mexico and the UK is the middle of the sea?! I would love to know your opinion. Thank you for your time!
Moving Forward With A Long Distance Love
Dear Moving Forward With A Long Distance Love,
First of all, I want to congratulate you on this beautiful union! It is inspiring to see a long distance couple work so hard at staying together and making it work. Couples who are close in proximity have a tough enough time staying together! It is a testament to your love, patience, and maturity. And that’s why you can nip this issue in the bud without breaking a sweat.
What this calls for is COMPROMISE. That may mean living in Mexico for a while to meet his needs and then living closer to your family to meet yours. Until you have kids, of course. Kids need stability. That’s when you both have to decide the location that is best for your relationship and growing family. Perhaps you will love Mexico and feel that will be best. Perhaps the UK will seem to be a great fit. Or maybe it will be an entirely different place! You can travel together as a couple and fall in love with a new city, state, or country. You really never know.
What you do know now is that you love him and he loves you and that you both want this relationship to work and last. As long as you both remain open, flexible, patient, and loving, you will make a decision that works for your relationship. Remember, home is where the heart is. Lucky for you, your heart is with him and his is with you.
Love strongly and wisely,
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