I’ve never been comfortable with being the only and always single girl in a room full of couples. It wreaked havoc on my confidence, and I had these soul-searching breakdowns where I questioned my worth. Why hadn’t I had a date in months or even a prospect? What is wrong with me?
It’s especially difficult to be the always single girl when I don’t have any updates to share with your married and coupled-up friends. Except to boast about that new restaurant I went to…alone. Or share that I have a fully stocked and growing makeup collection that I wear while watching This is Us. I love their love!
Needless to say, this can make any single girl feel like shit and question her life choices and future. And while I am genuinely happy for all my friends and family who are expanding their families and/or getting married, being the token single in a circle of committed folks is awkward AF.
No One to Dance with At Events
It’s bad enough that my father, my brother, and someone’s drunk uncle are my only dance partner at weddings and family gatherings. God bless them, really.
Farewell Plus One’s
I don’t even get a plus one option anymore when invited. I’m also not invited to “couples only” dinners or movie nights. Excuse me! I also want to recline my seat all the way back as I munch on popcorn and watch a great flick! I want a full-service movie waitstaff even though I don’t have a date.
As a card-carrying member of The Singles Club, snubs like these hurt like a bitch sometimes.
That Scarlet ‘S’ on My Chest
Sometimes it feels like I’m walking around with the scarlet letter ‘S’ sewn to my chest. It leaves an open target on my back to receive plenty of unwanted attention from fuckboys, old men, and losers alike. Being hit on when you’re waiting for a train or just trying to turn up with friends is tiring, especially without a boyfriend or guy to act as a buffer. And let’s not forget how women often clutch their boo’s arms a bit tighter around single mom – ahem, me.
But That Freedom
Don’t get me wrong, being single definitely has its fair share of perks. Aside from the freedom to do what I want, with whom I want, whenever I want, I’ve always loved the fact that as a single gal I can devote all of my time and attention to spoiling myself. I enjoy spending my time doing the things I love and getting to know who I am and what I want. As my grandmother always told me when I was a little girl, “You are responsible for your own happiness. It’s no one else’s job but your own.” Abuela was a true fountain of wisdom, and as I continue to date and explore life, I always remember her words.
Hooks Ups from My Relatives
My other relatives and family members? They’re too busy with their concerns (which borders on pity) when I show up to family parties and holiday functions sola. And my aunts often try to hook me up with, well, anybody. So, you can imagine how annoying it is to not having a plus one at weddings and other celebrations. My bestie doesn’t count as a date, or so my famlia tells me, and neither does any new guy I’m just dating.
Social Media Couple Envy
Even worse, the constant reminders of my single status on Facebook. Of course, I’m happy for my coworkers and friends and their impending motherhood (hits like button 3, no, 4 times)! Hooray to the friends that are recently engaged after knowing their significant other for just a few months (starts questioning life but hits like button anyway)! And let’s not forget the friends celebrating another year of coupledom, (okay….enough, you guys are killing me! Hits like button.). So, yes, it sucks to be single when everyone else in the entire world (as per social media) is someone’s significant other.
I’m just tired. Tired of being the bridesmaid, the sidekick, and the last-minute plus one for a cousin or family friend. I want to be with the man that I can share my days, my low points, and all of my wins. I want to find my permanent snuggle buddy. Instead, I sleep alone, complain about my life to my mom and my girlfriends, and take selfies with a selfie stick while out and about on my single gal adventures. It’s better than being the token single gal in a group of couples and wondering, how is this my life?
Written by Jeanine