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THE LATINA SEX AND THE CITY
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I’ve recently begun dating an interesting fellow. He’s cute, intelligent and quite the kisser. Still, I’ve been thinking about our relationship status, my relationship dealbreakers, and whether he is “husband material.”
I know, I know. I should have fun! But I have to consider my options and analyze whether we are compatible for the long term. He may be an amazing conversationalist and have great, kissable lips, but some things are non-negotiable, like my desire for marriage and children. Other relationship dealbreakers, however, are just silly. There’s a difference between not wanting to date a man that has kids or rejecting a man who is newly separated versus turning down a prospective mate because he walks with a female gait or isn’t as outgoing as you are.
Well, no more! I am abandoning my frivolous relationship dealbreakers and maybe you should too. Here are eight silly relationship dealbreakers to forget.
Height is important to many women but it doesn’t make the man. If you’re of average height, you should be able to move past his inches if he checks your other boxes. You may pass up a wonderful relationship that can flourish and reach new heights because he’s five foot five.
As long as a man can financially support himself (legally) and wants to build a great life with you, his career shouldn’t matter so much. The assumption is that a Blue Collar guy isn’t as polished or smart, but I know personally that work does not equate to intelligence, respect, empathy, grace, or even common sense. A partner doesn’t need to be an entrepreneur or run the world to be a great catch.
For me, a man with any kind of education is ideal. Does he have to have a PhD or a Masters’s degree? No! I’d accept a man that works hard and has an Associates’s degree at a minimum because, as I stated earlier, a degree doesn’t equate to intelligence. Being mentally stimulated stems from much more than a framed diploma.
I have a confession to make, I love Latino men. However, I am now open to dating men from other cultures and races. I’ve learned that limiting myself to one culture may close the door to a potential match that is just what I am looking for.
As a writer, I get annoyed when people don’t text with periods or commas. I feel outraged when friends use “u” versus spelling out “you.” And don’t get me going on confusing “their” and “there.” I’ve felt the same with meeting men on dating apps. In the past, I’d run for the hills. Don’t get me wrong, I still roll my eyes when a guy messages me a, “u up?” or “i like u,” but it is no longer a relationship dealbreaker.
I once questioned a man’s intentions because he hadn’t been in a real relationship for years. He played the field (ahum, Hoe Status) and I assumed that he could not be trusted. That was unfair of me. We all have a past and shouldn’t be judged by who or how many people he banged when he was single.
As a big tech and social media fanatic, particularly when it comes to anything Apple, I’d judged men who still used flip phones. How old are you? 60?!. But I realize it’s just silly. It may even be a good thing that they aren’t addicted to Facebook and the ‘Gram like some people I know (all signs point to me). A face to face connection is better than connecting on Facebook any day.