At 18 years old, I dated my first bad boy. A cocky and handsome gymnast, he flipped into my heart and dismounted as swiftly as an Olympian. I was crushed by his player ways because, like most women who came before me, I thought I could change him. So I chose to ignore the signs he’s a player and I got burned…bad. Like if you placed your hand on a frying pan only this was my heart. Ouch! I don’t want you to go through that kind of heartache! So take heed and take note: here are 8 signs he’s a player.
Ooh, na, na…what’s your name?
When a man you’re dating forgets your name it’s a classic sign that they’re juggling multiple women. This is especially the case if you have a unique name, like Sujeiry. How can anyone forget a name like that?! Regardless, whether you’re a Mary or a Chloe, your name should always be on the tip of his tongue.
Weekday love is a sign he’s a player
If he’s never available on weekends, you in danger, girl! Cause weekends are for couples! Even if you’re just dating (and we will get to that next) it is difficult to spend real quality time Monday – Friday. Another sign he’s a player: you call him on a Saturday (call, not text!) and he returns your call on a Monday. And this happens every time.
No relationship title
You’ve been dating for months and he never wants to discuss your relationship status. What’s worse is if he placates you with smooth talk, telling you not to worry. If this becomes a pattern, especially since he’s minimizing your concerns and desires, it’s a clear sign he’s a player. He may want to remain noncommittal to do his thang. And by thang, I mean other women.
Separate lives is a sign he’s a player
I believe it’s important to spend time away from your partner. Because, when dating or in a relationship, it’s easy to forget our friends and hobbies. So, if he goes out with his friends once n a while, good for him! Take that time to spend quality time with family or friends. Now, if he lives at the club or at a bar every damn weekend, we have a problem.
A committed person has no business socializing without his partner every weekend. Especially at bars and clubs. Those are the establishments that singles frequent to meet other singles. If you’re always at home and he’s always living his life fist pumping, he’s playing the field.
You accuse him of cheating or playing with your heart, and he turns around and accuses you of doing the same thing. This is classic player behavior. He is messing with your mind, convincing you that you’re the problem. He’ll accuse you of not trusting him, having trust issues in general, and being jealous. No matter what you do or say to counter his accusations, he will not accept blame. If he does this enough, it’s called gaslighting, and you may start to believe that you’re the crazy one with the problem. You’ll feel badly and end up apologizing for hurting his feelings and for doubting him. This is classic player (and narcissistic) behavior.
Not social media friends
If he doesn’t want to add you as a friend Facebook or blocks you on Instagram, and you’re in a relationship, he is hiding something from you. He may just be hiding you.
Players know that their significant other will want them to post photos of them on their feeds. And if’s acting like he’s single and/or using social media to hit on women, your face plastered all over his profile will keep his game. If you’re dating, it’s understandable to wait to be social media friends, but you should have nothing to hide if you’re in a relationship.
Constant texting is a sign he’s a player
We all text, so it can be tricky to pinpoint this as a sign that he’s a player. So note when he is texting and his behavior and body language. Does he hide his phone screen by turning away from you? Does he go to another room to respond? Does he look shifty when his phone buzzes? Did he change his phone settings so that the names don’t appear when texting and it shows as “text message” when the phone is locked? Is his phone going off all day and all night? These are all clear signs that he’s a player. Cause unless he’s a doctor (or a drug dealer) no one has any business contacting him like a maniac. Trash that phone, girl, and cut that player out of your life.