“Hey, I’m Jay,” he greeted, meeting her at the front desk. He tried to keep his eyes off of her enormous breasts and beautifully rounded hips. He held her gaze to avoid looking at her thin lips, they were covered in a bright fuchsia. What he would give to be slathered in pink.

Nothing quiet says self-love like setting boundaries. On this episode of Self-Love Served Raw, my self-love podcast where I share my self-love journey and self-love tips, I dish on how to set boundaries in relationships. Plus, the benefits of setting boundaries.

The therapist waited for Candi and John to provide an answer. Candi looked at John and nodded, giving him the go ahead to speak first – and for her. It was a bad habit she adopted while being with John, she often felt like her voice wasn’t as important.

The phone sings in her hand. Candi jumps, dropping her smartphone in the process. She hadn’t heard that special ring – an 80’s salsa song – in three years.

I often talk about how women need to support strong friends, particularly strong women of color. I also whine and, yes, complain about the lack of support that I receive as a strong friend. Yet my friends rarely understand what I mean when I say, “I wish I had support.”

I have a Google document that reads “The Not So Good Sides of Me.” My intention was to pen a piece on my shadow side as part of my self-love journey. I planned to describe in detail the parts of my personality that I needed to “fix.” Because I’m a fixer and I thought I needed fixing.