There have been so many times where women give undeserving men chance after chance. It may be because you wanna be the girl who “changed him” or he was just really great in bed. I understand that nobody wants to let that go. On the other hand, being the friend of the woman who makes the choice to be “on and off” with her man is exhausting.
It’s an endless cycle of them crying and complaining, while you comfort them and let them know that they should ditch him. He isn’t worth the hurt they are feeling. Your friend always agrees with you and says that it’s really over this time. And it is. Until it isn’t. Good Lord, the agony!
I’m not the first and I for sure won’t be the last girl who will become fed up with her friend over situations like these. Others have had their patience tested by that girlfriend you only want the best for. Natalie, 22, was going back and forth with her friend for 3 years about a guy. “She would cry and cry over him and I would console her constantly,” she said about her friend. “But then I got advice from someone who told me that it’s time to let my friend make her own mistakes.”
It can be rough but tough love is needed in these situations. Just like Natalie, Teresa, 24, doles out her tough love by not even allowing her girlfriend to speak about him! “I got tired of her not taking my advice, so now she knows that [her guy] is off limits to discuss when we’re together. She knows how I feel about him.” Your friend can see through his bullshit, why can’t you? I like this method.
Lauren, 25, believes in self-love. “It’s all about learning your worth. You should grow up and realize that the games your guy is playing with you is very adolescent.” She does believe this is something we all go through at some point. It is simply a hard lesson to learn.
Then there are those friends who will be your ride or die no matter how many times you rekindle your relationship with your loser boyfriend. “I let them know where I stand and they can always lean on me regardless,” Casey stated. “They will learn, but I don’t really feel like it’s my place to tell her what she should do. She is an adult. I’ve also been in her shoes so I kind of empathize.”
You may have various ways of dealing with specific friends who look like they feed off of the drama. But neither one is more or less effective than the last. Whether it’s tough love or empathetic love, you can always find a way to be there for your friend. You just have to take it all with a grain of salt and remember that this can’t be easy. Before you write your girlfriend off walk a mile in her shoes.