A friend suggests grabbing drinks after work.
A cousin asks me to connect her with an editor.
A boyfriend pleads for my forgiveness.
It doesn’t matter if I’m too exhausted to drink or to socialize. I don’t think twice about lending a helping hand though the recommended may taint my good name due to their irresponsibility. I don’t even think twice about letting something go, even when it hurts.
Because I always put myself second.
I realized this just this weekend, after an abandoned trip to Sephora. My sister asked me to join her downtown. I was walking to the UWS anyway to get my exercise, so I said, “Yes.” She wanted to shop for
a fall wardrobe while I wanted to purchase new Make Up Forever cream eye shadow.
I began my walk. After walking over 3 miles, I took the train. I met her at Banana Republic. The time was ticking and I worried Sephora would close.
“I called and the machine said it closed at 8,” my sister reassured. It was 10 to 7.
She finished paying and we were out the door, walking toward Sephora. On the way, we passed Lincoln Center, a beautiful sight that my niece Nila had never seen. And so my sister and I took her photo. Many photos. Time tick tocked and my desires brushed to the side…by my sister, by me.
Eventually, we made it to Sephora. It was closed. Had closed at 7pm, as I suspected. And I never got what I wanted. My needs weren’t met because I didn’t fight for them, for me. It may seem like a small dilemma but, in that moment, I had this epiphany.
I always consider the feelings of others over my own.
I always put my needs second.
I always say yes.