Ok, Pepitas, I have begun writing Love Trips (the book) every day. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been very easy to type away on my Mac. Actually, it’s been dreadful! A lot of it has to do with my discomfort with my past. The story that I am writing for the book is called “Crazy Conchita” and, as the title states, I was a crazy bitch! And who wants to write about that?
I do, apparently.
Rewriting this experience has been difficult because I am reliving the event that took place while I was with my ex-boyfriend, Elijah. My relationship officially ended in 2005 but the shame and embarrassment from that night, where Conchita came out to hacer y desaser, lives on, especially since my crazy ass is releasing it to the masses. Still, writing about my crazy makes me wonder: why do women feel so guilty when we reveal our imperfections? In my case, it’s all about my fear of abandonment and the desire to be the “perfect girlfriend.”I figure if and when I show my loquera the man in my life will run so fast you’d swear he rode on a torpedo. It’s a lot of pressure on a girl, I know, but these are my issues to resolve.
So what’s the message of “Crazy Conchita” besides ‘Don’t piss Sujeiry off’? The message, Pepitas, is that there is no such thing as “the perfect girlfriend” or relationship. As I say in the story, “Deep down every woman has a little Crazy.” So embrace it and work with what you have and who you are!
And the countdown to Love Trips (the book) continues…