And Just Like That Everything Changed
I’ve been really whiny lately. As whiny as my 5 month old son. It’s like we’re in competition. Who can out whine who? Who can bitch and moan more? I think I’m winning.
Evan has an excuse: he’s a baby. Having tantrums and complaining? That’s what babies do. I also have an excuse, at least I keep telling myself that I do. I’ve had a rough end of 2016. I’ve been sick, really sick. If you’re interested in reading about my life or death situation, click here. Because I refuse to go into details about it anymore as I am sick of making it a thing, a topic of conversation. And that’s all me.
Thinking about my recent health issues is only keeping me down. Life has peaks and valleys and my recent “lack” and “woe is me” mindset is making it that much harder to overcome, thrive, create, flourish, live positively and move on. I want to move on. I want to feel empowered, inspired, passionate and ultimately happy with myself and life again.
I survived the dips and now I want to thrive. I want to be alive in every sense of the word.
So I’m changing my perspective yet again. That’s right, this ain’t my first whiny rodeo. I’ve been here before. Not sick, but lost. Unclear. Distracted. Scattered. Like I am not good enough or just enough – for my significant other, my career, my goals. I hate feeling this way. I am not where I want to be, not where I was. Just last year I was an on air talent; I had my own web series on Latina.com and my own radio show on SiriusXM. I was living the dream. The one I have worked so diligently and painstakingly for. That life is now gone. Changed in a blink of an eye. But, that’s life. I can’t control my winding road and what life throws my way, but I can control and change my reactions and behaviors. So I am going to stop being a whiny baby and instead focus on the positive.
I will now say:
I am fortunate and grateful to be alive. I am no longer dipping. I am climbing up the valley and I can see the top. I can reach the peak. I can see it, feel it, breathe its air. I may not be where I want to be and where I was, but I’ve manifested an amazing life and career. And I can and will do it again and again.
No bitching required.