There’s a Spanish saying that goes,”Un clavo saca a otro clavo.” It is said to women who are mourning a relationship after a breakup. What it translates to is simple: to get over someone you just have to get under someone new.
That’s exactly what I tried to do after Paco and I broke up.
Sacando un clavo con otro clavo was new for me. I am the kind of lady who wallows for months after a heartbreak. Like Charlotte once said in Sex and the City, “It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them.” For me, it’s more like double the time. But that was Sujeiry in her 20s. At newly 35, I was ready to yank that man right outta my heart by any means neccesary. Even if it meant doing something I vowed never do again: online dating.
24 hours after Paco and I were over and I contacted Mr. G, I signed up for a six-month subscription to Match.com. I was that sure that I’d meet someone this time. I was in a new city with new men and new possibilities. I was ready! A day or two after signing up, a very attractive Indian man emailed me. He was looking for a serious relationship. He wanted to talk on the phone first and get to know each other. Straightforward. I like that. I told him I was interested in speaking and we set up a date and time to talk.
But when he called I didn’t pick up.
As the foreign number appeared on my iPhone screen, I panicked. I couldn’t talk to someone new, I freaked. I am not ready! He left a message and I listened, feeling terrible about my choice. His voice was rich, deep. It was very sexy. He sounded like a man. An hour later, I stopped being a pendeja and text him with an excuse.
“I was on the phone with my sister,” I fibbed. “It’s too late now, almost 10pm, so maybe we can talk tomorrow?” Yes, tomorrow I’d be ready.
“I have a work conference all week in San Diego,” he replied. “I can talk now if you are available.”
Persistent. I like that. Now or never, Sujeiry.
We spoke for 45 minutes. He was smart. 39 years old. Mature. He spoke fluent Spanish because he had lived in Mexico for a year. He also has a daughter who lives with his ex-wife in San Diego while he lives in Los Angeles and works in marketing for Nestle. I was intrigued and so was he. We set a date for the following week.
Our date approached. I suggested we meet at La La’s Argentenian Grill in Studio City; it was in my neighborhood and I like Argentenian steak. He was running late due to traffic on the 101. Typical LA. He apologized over text and suggested I order a drink on him. I did so happily. When he walked in, he was beautiful. Better looking than his photos. 6’2 or so. Brown skin and a full head of hair. I was impressed and excited. The date continued on that note.
We chatted each other up for hours. It was easy. We flirted. I knew he was digging me. He told me I looked even prettier than my photos. Complimentary. I like that. Midway through our date he brought up his marriage and asked about my last relationship. As I am a “love guru” and relationship writer, he was curious about my relationship history. I, on the other hand, was desperately trying to avoid “the ex” talk. He proceeded to ask questions, including when my last relationship had ended.
“We broke up a month and a half ago,” I lied. It was more like two weeks ago.
He looked at me with shock and confusion. “Wow, that wasn’t that long ago.”
I nodded, assuring him I was over Paco.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked.
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
Another lie. As much as I wanted to believe that I was ready, I’m not like many other gals. I wasn’t ready to get under another man. For this newly single, 35-year-old woman, the only thing que saca otro clavo is time.
Photo Credit: Flickr.com/Aai.