I am often uncomfortable with change. Much like others, I resist it when life flip flops, twists and throws us unexpected curve balls. On the contrary, when it’s a change that I have put in motion, I am open. I embrace the change. I welcome the change and am motivated by the change and see gain, not loss.
This is how I feel in Los Angeles. It has been a week since I landed in LAX and I feel ready and happy. I wasn’t unhappy before but I did feel stifled.
Today, I feel free.
Maybe it’s the cool climate. Perhaps it’s the laid back west coast vibe or how welcoming friends have been during my stay. Regardless of the why’s, I feel myself changing. I feel like I am my independent self again.
Because I am on my own, after living in my mother’s home for the last 6 years.
Because I am making decisions based on what I desire and my happiness, without fear of failure, without fearing CHANGE.
That can only mean one thing; I am becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. I am allowing change to transform me into a less controlling and fearful mujer. That, loves, has been my goal for 2012. That’s why I plunged into freezing waters during The Polar Bear Plunge. That is why this year I chose to abandon psychics, so I can live day to day, even if the next day is unsure.
That is why I am here in Los Angeles; a place I dreamt of yet I was too afraid to live that dream. Until now.
And all I see is gain.