Every day I scroll through my social media feeds and encounter squads. Squads consist of a large group of people coming together, constantly doing things together, and posting those adventures online. The term blew up when Taylor Swift debut her #squad on Instagram and in her “Bad Blood” video. And now, it’s like every night of the week groups of women gather together for dinner or drinks, and show off on social media. Every female Millennial not only wants a squad but also has #SquadGoals and a #SquadLife.
Well, sorry to disappoint you, Taylor, but my crew is the total opposite.
While it’s empowering to see groups of women coming together, squads create seriously unrealistic portraits of adult friendships. When in high school, it’s all about making a lot of friends and going out with them every weekend. I hate to sound like a vieja, but this changes over time. Now, I have a super small group of friends – like less than a handful. It’s not something I did on purpose. It’s just that every life hurdle weeded out a lot of my “friends,” leaving me with a small crew I can depend on. If life has taught me anything, it’s that you should value quality over quantity.
Don’t get me wrong, It’s great to have a long list of friends to call on a Friday night to go out bar-hopping. But, I’m happier knowing I can call one number and that she’ll pick up and be there for me no matter what.
Still, having a small group of friends doesn’t make it easier to get together and do squad-like things. I’m crazy busy all the time with (Rihanna voice) work, work, work, work, and writing and spending time with family. My friends are also super busy. One is a full-time teller, another is a working mom, and so on and so forth. They have important things going on in their lives and I don’t take offense when they have to cancel dinner four times before we can share a meal. They understand my hectic life as well. But, make no mistake. When we do get together it’s always worth the wait.
Now, here’s what my friends and I can do to solidify our small squad, but never remember to: post pictures online. I’m not sure why, but we don’t make that a priority when we are together. When we’re laughing so hard my stomach hurts, my first thought isn’t, “Oh my god, I need to grab my phone and take a picture!” Or, when the food arrives and we’re stuffing our faces, I’m not thinking about how many likes I’ll get if I post the pic with the #nom hashtag. Since we don’t see each other often, we just focus on catching up rather than taking group selfies.
So, my group of friends fail as a squad. I’m cool with that. I also hope the term transcends into a more meaningful definition for women. A term that defines women who encourage and support each other rather than showing off for likes and trash-talking in comments section. Till then, my “squad” and I are #SorryNotSorry.