I’ve never felt ashamed of my body. Besides my small tits, I like what I see in the mirror and my breasts look a lot plumper after having Evan. I don’t even mind my C-section scar. It’s a badge of honor. After 20 hours of labor, I deserve some praise.
I’m also not a shy person. I talk about sex and relationships openly and unapologetically. I once said vagina a dozen times on my SiriusXM show. I can outdrink a pirate and still have the urge to drop it like it’s hot on a tabletop. Yet, I don’t feel comfortable being naked in front of people. I even cover myself up in front of mami – and she saw me in my birthday suit at birth.
My discomfort with being in the buff stems from Catholic guilt and the messages I received growing up. “Be a ‘good girl,’ Sujeiry,” Mami told me. “Close your legs because men don’t respect fast girls,” my Tia scolded. So I spent 38 years covering up, fearing judgment and believing that doing otherwise is dirty.
This suddenly changed during my fiancé, Dave’s, 40th birthday weekend where I was thrust into an environment where anything goes. Dave is all about exploring the freak within, so I surprised him with a trip to Desire Riviera Maya, a couples-only resorts for nudists and swingers. He was thrilled; I was terrified. He’s a fan of lost inhibitions, specifically mine, so I decided to let my freak flag fly. After all, it was his 40th birthday.
At Desire Riviera Maya, I did something I never thought I would do, something I once judged others for – I stripped down and bared all. I swam in a heated pool, lay out on the beach and had full conversations with nudists and swingers all while booty buck naked.
It felt natural. Despite my Catholic guilt (and Mami’s voice constantly in my ear) Desire Riviera Maya’s ambience gave me permission to be freer than I’ve ever been and ever thought that I could be. Desire Riviera Maya allows adults to frolic naked everywhere but their four restaurants. (Cause no one want a pubic pelo in their comida.) The hotel even has designated areas where anything goes. By anything, I mean everything. If you want to have sex with fellow guests, just go to the jacuzzi or the disco. You can fool around out in the open, if you wish.
No one is there to judge my choices, your choices, or any body type or body part. No one coerces you into hooking up or makes you feel like a bad girl if you do decide to have an orgy in the jacuzzi. No one boxes you in or expects you to “behave” because you have a vagina. And no one batted an eye when Tampa Rachel joined me and Dave in our private pool – naked. Or when Mr. Oklahoma and his much younger girlfriend jumped in soon after – also naked. Instead, guests wanted to know much more about the Latino couple in the sexy, VIP sweet.
And although Dave and I didn’t swap spit with any other couple, no one would think less of us – me – if we wanted to.
So I went there. At Desire Riviera Maya, I bared all and just…let…go. I released the guilt, societal double standards, and the pressure to be a ‘good Catholic girl.’ I went nude and embraced every inch of me – C-section scars, Cellulite, and all – and carry this experience like a badge of honor