Love Trends

Women Should Save Monogamy Till They’re Older and Wiser

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If you ask me, single women commit to monogamous relationships way too soon. Instead of dating multiple people to discover what qualities we want and need in a significant other, we get swept away by our desire for monogamy, and focus on “the one” even when those fantastic traits are lacking.

Why do women give men they’re dating their loyalty and love instead of playing the field? According to Jenny, 32, of NYC, it just seems like the fair thing to do. “If I like a guy and I am still seeing others I don’t really like, I feel like I am betraying the guy I really like,” she says.  Yet men openly date multiple women at the same time! When women do the same, we deem ourselves as dishonest. And that may be due to the belief that men are supposed to sow their wild outs. 

“Women get more emotionally attached and stuff,” Stephanie, 22, of Staten Island, comments, “we aren’t programmed [like men] at all.”

Many millennial women also feel that playing the field is a waste of time. “I don’t think I’m giving up anything if I choose to commit to one guy I’m dating,” Aimee, 26, of Brooklyn opines. “I just am not much of a game player.” But is dating really a game? Brandi, 28, of Brooklyn, disagrees, stating that ditching automatic monogamy when single is so old school. “We are so used to doing the “right” thing and playing by the rules,” she adds, “but that hasn’t really gotten us anywhere. Maybe if we start playing like the boys and not being so quick to commit to one guy too soon, we’ll get further. It’s time for a change.”

If you don’t want to follow a young woman’s advice, listen to Lauren, a 59-year old from Brooklyn who has lived, honey. “When I was younger that’s just how it was – you date one guy at a time, see how things go and take it from there. Nowadays, there are so many options out there for everyone. I encourage my daughter to do things differently.”

PLUS: How to Get Your Dating Groove Back Just Like Stella

Yes! It’s time to throw away the rule book, ladies. So stop behaving the way you’re expected to and follow your gut. Have some fun and save monogamy for when you’re older, wiser and ready.

Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.