Love Trends

I Don’t Mind Sharing! Millennials Speak on Polygamy

By  | 

Comedian, Deray Davis, was recently featured on a reality show profiling his career and his personal relationships. In the first episode, we are introduced to Davis and his two 20-something year old girlfriends. And the women are completely okay with the triad.

“I was dating them both already and instead of creeping behind their backs I put it all out on the table,” explained Deray. “They were down with sharing so it all worked out.” And the girls share everything. “They live together and even sleep in the same bed together.”

PLUS: Are Bisexual Women the New Ms. Right?

While Davis’ girlfriends may be a bit extra with their “sharing habits,” the idea that two young women are openly and happily dating one guy doesn’t come as a shock. Polygamy is a popular dating trend amongst millennials. More millennial women are trading in monogamy and entering into open-ended relationships. And, although this way of dating gets a bad rap, millennials feel it works in their favor for various reasons.

Reason 1: not wanting to be in a serious relationship. “I’m young, and while I can I want to experience different things,” shares 23-year-old Amber of Staten Island regarding her decision to be polygamous. ” I don’t want to be tied down any time soon, and my boyfriend’s other girlfriend can keep him occupied during those times I am focusing on my goals and life.”

Amber is just one of several young millennials who are happily defending their open relationship. Despite the often sleazy and sexist assumptions about polygamy, it’s not as dirty or X-rated as it sounds. Tanya, 25, of Brooklyn and her boyfriend have ground rules so their love triangle is less complicated.

“The three of us definitely don’t do anything together sexually or romantically,” she explains. “It’s not like my boyfriend goes out and picks a different girl to be with every night.” In fact, he was upfront with Tanya about seeing another woman while dating her. “I was totally fine with it as long as he kept it respectful within our relationship and didn’t cross any lines,” she added. “[And] when we were all comfortable, we all met and were able to develop a bond.” How do they make this unique relationship work? ” Being honest and constantly communicating with one another is important.” So far, they’ve been in a polygamous relationship for months.

Another reason to delve into a polygamous relationship: having someone else to relate to. Dolly, 27, of Manhattan, likes that her boyfriend’s girlfriend is someone else she can vent to about her boyfriend.
“Believe it or not, me and my boyfriend’s other girlfriend get along really well,” she admits. “And when one of us is having an issue with him, the other is always there to listen and give advice.”

MORE: hreesomes: Just for Singles or Are Couples Into It?

Then there’s making the choice to date more than one man (or woman) because you can. It’s all about female empowerment; at least that’s what Satie, 24, of Staten Island believes.  “In the end, everybody wins. The guy wins because he gets to be with two women. And women win because instead of having men dog us out and sneak behind our backs, we openly know what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Plus we get to still keep our independence and do what we gotta do.”In that case, polygamy is a win/win.

Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.