Love Trends

Is the Millennial Dating Mentality Affecting Older Folks?

By  | 

The other day I scrolled through my Instagram timeline and came across this post:

problem with dating quote
 After reading I thought, what if it’s too little too late to go back? “Situationships,” like friends-with-benefits and casual dating have become the norm and are “easier” to come by. As younger millennials shape dating patterns for years to come, older singles like myself, who are looking to settle down, start families and build long-lasting, monogamous relationships, wonder where this leaves commitment and loving relationships? Will dating continue along the path of a free-spirited good time?

PLUS: Snapchat Dan: My 4-Month Virtual Relationship

Cameron, 24, of Manhattan is actually offended by that notion. “Because we are younger other generations think we are either moving too fast or moving in the wrong direction – and that’s not true. We may not do things the way it used to be done but we are doing it our way.”

Monique, 30, of Brooklyn, agrees and believes that the end of courtship and deep conversations over the telephone have nothing to do with age or mentality. “Honestly, I’ve dated men around my age and older and they were worse than the younger guys!” she shares. “All they were looking for was a good time, didn’t want to get too deep, and whenever I would even try and initiate a conversation they would bolt!”

So are relationship guys becoming extinct, or is the millennial dating mentality influencing the older generation? Like everything else when it comes to dating and relationships, it may depend on the guy.

MORE: How Tinder Is Killing Dating Etiquette

Alissa, 22, of Staten Island, has been with her boyfriend for a few years and knows he’s the one for her. “He and I have no desire to go out and explore or do what our friends do,” she says. “We see how much drama they put themselves in when they get into their “situationships” and we want to steer clear of that,” she adds. Trevor, 26, of Brooklyn also believes that the success of a relationship depends on the couple not the age or generation. “I know couples who did it the ‘old school’ way and did everything by the book: the courting, the no sex before marriage, dating for long periods of time,” he begins, “and they are miserable.” He has other friends who started out super casual and were all about ‘Netflix and chill.’ “They are now married. So both ways aren’t wrong, they are just different,” he concludes.

So it seems relationships aren’t doomed after all. Question is: what direction will you go in?

Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.