Dating Tips

8 Reasons Why It’s OK to Date Your Ex’s Friend

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Okay, okay, okay. I know what you are thinking. Dating your ex’s friend sounds like a major violation of girl/guy code. But before you issue me a major dating foul, remember that everything happens for a reason. Relationships end and people breakup every day. What’s meant to be will be, even if it’s with your ex’s best bud.

So turn that dating NO into a GO! Here is why dating your ex’s friend is actually an option.

Better chemistry and connection.

Barbie and Ken

Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants! As corny and cliche as it sounds, a strong connection and solid chemistry doesn’t lie – even if it is with your ex’s friend. Life is too short to short change yourself. If the fire between you and your ex’s bestie puts forest fires to shame, that’s a clear sign the relationship is a go.

You share common interests.

Titanic

Being in a boring relationship not only can make you feel stagnant but it is also the ultimate mood killer. But when you find a partner who shares the same interests and enjoys your kind of fun, it feels like you hit the jackpot. CHA-CHING! Go cash in your winnings in the form of your ex’s friend.

They make you a better person.

You complete me

If your ex’s friend adds more value to your life than your ex (or any other past beau), that’s the relationship to explore. It’s hard finding someone who supports you and your journey. Hold on to the one that lights your fire and diffuses disasters – regardless of how you met. 

Your family and friends like him.

is this your boyfriend

It can be hard to introduce a new bae to close friends and family. Nine times out of 10, they know the backstory of your past relationships, including the situation between you, your ex and his boy. And they like his boy. In fact, they are way more receptive to your ex’s friend in his new role – your new man. PHEW!

You aren’t dating them as a rebound.

excited to go on a date

Rebounding after a breakup is never a good idea, especially with friends of an ex. You can, however, mourn the relationship and then get with his friend. Just tread lightly. Especially in this case.

Your ex has moved on and things are no longer awkward.

I aint worried

It can be damaging if you don’t approach things respectfully and carefully. (Ain’t nothing cute about being the person who destroyed a friendship). If your ex has moved on with someone else or is no longer emotionally or physically invested in your relationship, proceed.

PLUS:The Time My Ex Boyfriend Stalked Me

You haven’t had any contact with your ex for an extended period of time.

let go let god

And by extended I mean more than a few months. If you and your ex exchange quick birthday/holiday messages over Facebook, moving forward with a “mutual friend” shouldn’t be a problem.

You let your ex know ahead of time.

No problems

You aren’t asking them for permission, you are simply letting them know that you are dating someone new who just so happens to be their friend. It’s the best way to avoid an awkward confrontation at your local Applebee’s.

Tiffani is a true city gal, hailing from the concrete jungle of New York City. With a large coffee in tow (that’s pronounced caw-fee to my non-New Yorkers) this closeted “self-help” addict and Lifestyles writer is on a continuous quest to discover how to have the best romantic life. An old soul with new age sarcasm, Tiffani’s sharp, witty and tell-it-like-it-is attitude has resulted in many a snafu as she tries to navigate and conquer the most challenging and complicated assignment of all: dating the New York City man. Come a long for the ride as this seasoned serial dater tries to find balance between her journey to self-love and her old school values on dating and relationships. She writes about her lessons and adventures in dating as a twenty-something millennial and all the new rules that apply.