Dating Tips

My Bad! 7 Ways To Blow It On a First Date

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The first time I bombed on a first date was the last time. What can I say? I’m a quick learner! Thank the Lord. I mean, I pretty much talked the guy to death. I would’ve checked his pulse but he was very much alive when he said, “You talk too much.” So….yeah.

There are plenty more ways to bomb a first date than babbling and looking a hot mess. Your hair and outfit may be on fleek, but your behavior is what truly matters. Here are some things NOT to do when on a first date, or you’ll blow it and he’ll never ask you out again.

PLUS: 6 Desperate Things Men Do on First Dates

Cell phone addiction

Let’s face it: we are addicted to our mobile devices. Whether riding the subway or waiting on line, our eyes are glued to our phones. It’s a hard habit to break yet we must part from our phones when on a first date. A recent study even concluded that one of the biggest turn offs for millennials is when a date is constantly on his or her phone. It’s a first date fax paus, so put it away!

Location, location

On a first date a man once took me to the park. The park! I thought we were just meeting there before heading to an extravagant restaurant/bar, but that was not his plan. We strolled through Bryant Park for about 15 minutes when I finally asked, “Are we going to dinner?” Blank look on his face. And with that I said, “Adios amigo!” So, when suggesting a date night activity think bigger and better, but nothing too pricey. You don’t want your date to deem you a gold digger.

Checking in

You know what’s odd? Checking in your date. Yes, you’re already friends on Facebook. It happens more often than not though I believe that’s another no-no. When you check in your date to a location, you’re assuming that he wants his 1K plus “friends” to know that he is with you. Not only is it needy (it’s like you’re claiming him on social media) but it is also presumptuous. If you check him in, especially without his permission, you will bomb on your first date before sipping on a glass of tap water.

Talk about the ex

You hate your ex, you loved your ex, your ex hurt you so bad: ex, ex, ex! No matter how you feel about your ex-man you shouldn’t bring him up on a first date. If you do, your date will believe that you’re still pining for your former significant other. Even if you discuss fulano de tal (you refuse to utter his name!) while seething and foaming at the mouth, you’re still showing emotion. And that’s not a good look.

You’re so bitter

Speaking of anger, negative energy is one of the biggest turn offs when on a first date. He won’t desire to get to know you if your shoulders are tense, your jaw is clenched and you wear a permanent scowl on our face. Even if you are feigning happiness and positivity, he will know you are faking. Ultimately, you should be in a really good place mentally and emotionally before dating.

Talking about future babies

Your biological clock is ticking, your ovaries are screaming, “babies!” and you tell your first date that you have baby fever. Watch him sweat as he calculates his exit strategy. The only guy who wants to hear baby talk on a fist date is one with an infantilism fetish.

MORE: Worst Date Ever! He Got Drunk Before I Got There

All about you

As a radio host personality and avid talker, I understand the need to talk about oneself. Still, contain yourself! Your first date wants to get to know you but he doesn’t want to feel like you’re vapid and self-centered. Instead of sharing your life story after just one bite, ask about his interests, hobbies, job, friends and family. The more you know about him the easier you can decide whether he gets a second date with you. In the end, don’t you want it to be your choice? Exactly.

Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on Latina.com, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.