Dating Tips

Your Man is Controlling AF If He Acts Like This

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Latino men are known to be a little machista. They expect their women to cook delicious and traditional meals, tend to their sexual needs, take care of the children, and clean the household – all while keeping it sexy. But a man who is machista isn’t always controlling. On the contrary, a controlling man can be the most emotionally open and neediest guy you’ll ever date. Macho men? Not so much.

So, what makes a man controlling? It isn’t his penchant for traditional gender roles. Take a closer look at his behavior, words and manipulative tactics. Here are signs that the guy you’re dating may be controlling.

He is jealous AF.

A little jealousy in a relationship isn’t bad; as a matter of fact, it can be a turn on as it shows he cares. However, when a man is controlling, his jealousy triggers fits of rage. You may be walking down the street together and he gets into a fist fight just because a guy glanced at you. Or worse: he takes it out on you and embarrasses you in public. It’s a dangerous extreme.

He tells you what to wear.

Your man goes into your closet and picks out loose-fitting long-sleeved shirts and baggy jeans for you to wear – and it’s the middle of summer! There’s a heat wave and he wants you to cover your arms, legs, midriff, booty – everything! He just can’t stand the thought of a man looking at his mujer. Yes, he believes that your body is his.

He demands you get a tattoo of him.

I would think twice before getting a tattoo, never mind inking a man’s name onto my skin. However, many women are open to the idea and even think it’s romantic. Still, a man who is controlling won’t give you a choice. He will demand that you tattoo “Juan” in cursive on your breast or right above your vagina so the world knows who you belong to!

He checks your gadgets.

In today’s world, many women share their email, cell phone and social media passwords with their significant other. When your man is controlling he will jailbreak your phone to check your Facebook status updates, and stalk profiles of the men who’ve “liked” your post. He constantly crosses the line and checks your text messages and chats without your knowledge or permission. He has no boundaries. This behavior is a clear indication that he is controlling.

He doesn’t want you hanging out with your girls.

Or anyone else for that matter. At first, you may think it’s sweet that he wants to spend all his time with you, but often times a controlling man isolates the women he dates. He will want you all to himself, and soon you won’t have any friends or family to call your own.

He questions whether you love him.

A man who is excessively needy and constantly questions how you feel about him is insecure, and a controlling man is often an insecure man. Take note when a man needs you to reassure him of your love always.

He always thinks you’re cheating.

When a man accuses a woman of cheating two things may be happening: he’s actually cheating and projecting, or he’s controlling. Regardless, it’s bad news! You don’t want to constantly explain yourself, your associations or your whereabouts. And, of course, if he asks to smell your lady parts, this controlling man has gone off kilter. Break it off and be weary when you do. Always have someone with you when ending a relationship with a controlling man. He will have trouble letting go and his behavior may become so erratic that you fear for your life. And there’s nothing sexy about that.

Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.