Dating Tips

3 Ways to Get Him To Stop Texting and Start Calling

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I’ve had a few relationships that only consisted of text messages. I meet a man online or at a bar and he never ever calls. Bzzz! My phone vibrates. It’s him, saying “Hello.” Bzzz. My phone vibrates. It’s him texting me good morning. Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzz! It’s him continuing a conversation over text for hours and days. PICK UP THE PHONE! I want to reply. But I don’t. This is the “culture” we are living in – all technology, all the time. We are always connected yet we are so disconnected. Soon, we’ll only have sex over text.

Oh, wait. That’s called sexting. Already there!

So, can we change this new trend? How do we persuade a man to call us on the phone?

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  • Don’t Text Him At All: Because I’m Latina, some people think I always want to speak in Spanish. They think I’m going to ‘chica’ them all night long. Well, I don’t, which is why when they do start with their “Hola! Como estas?!” I answer, “I’m well, and you?” The same property can be applied to texting. If he texts you, call him. Always. If he doesn’t pick up and texts something like, “I’m busy. Can’t talk,” don’t reply. If you must because you cannot control your impulsive fingers, then text him to call you when he is free. If he continues to text, do not reply. He will pick up the phone and call you if he cares to speak with you at all.
  • Tell Him You Hate to Text: Honesty is the best policy, so why not just tell him you rather not text. I once expressed my desire to speak on the phone and the man obliged. Another man, however, still continued to text. I stopped replying and a relationship that never was ended. Bottomline, when a man is interested he will want to make you happy and meet your needs, even if they may seem frivolous.
  • Use Sneaky Tactics: You don’t reply to his texts but he still insists on texting only. What to do? Be a little sneaky. Tell him you’re using a company phone and they don’t allow you to text. Reply with short (and somewhat cold) answers so he wonders what’s wrong and has to pick up the phone. Miss a few important text messages that he sends and tell him you’re having trouble with your phone. A little sneakiness (and fibbing) may just do the trick.

No matter what tactic you use make sure to demand change, somehow. I personally don’t condone lying so I encourage you to be upfront first and foremost and from the very beginning. If you allow a man to text you all the time, he will. Nip it in the bud or prepare for a lot more buzzing.


Sujeiry Gonzalez is the owner of LoveSujeiry Magazine and Host of LOVE Sujeiry on American Latino Radio on SiriusXM Ch 154 (M-F, 9pm-10pm EST). The author of Dating RITE: Advice on Dating Woes from Your Go-to Chica and Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles is also Latina's love and sex columnist. The on-air talent tells it like it is when on TV, radio, and on the web. She has appeared on FYI, CNN Latino, Telemundo, BronxNet, The Madison Jaye Radio Show, and was also the Love Guru on Exitos 93.9FM on the Raq-C and Nachin show.