Dating Story

She Met a Man on Badoo and Was Catfished

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“I swore I was cursed,” she said of her bad luck. At 57 years old, Felicity has yet to have a serious relationship. All her life she has dated married men. Not on purpose. Every time she dates a man, he ghosts only to return – and she takes them back. Then one of her cousins or uncles catches her so-called boyfriend out with his wife. It happens every time.

After one too many betrayals, Felicity stopped caring about her appearance. Her mustache began to show. Her chin hairs grew like whiskers. “I didn’t have anybody to impress” she shared, “I was letting myself go, nothing mattered anymore.” Felicity was so down and out that she spend her days waiting by the phone, playing games and surfing through the Google Play app store. That’s when she came across the Badoo dating app. “Meet New People, Chat, Socialize,” read the slogan. Hopeful once again, Felicity took the plunge back to online dating. She download the app to give love one more chance.

Soon, she began chatting with Ali. They decided to get off line quickly and exchanged phone numbers. “We spoke every day,” Felicity recalled, “I never got tired of him. We always had something to talk about.” Felicity admitted never feeling so connected to someone. She felt like someone needed her, which she needed at 57. Ali, who was from Israel, also had similar dreams as Felicity – to get married. So he promised Felicity to visit her from Israel.

Time past and they continued speaking every day on the phone for hours on end. They also texted frequently. Felicity had fallen for Ali although he had never seen a photo of him. “I never felt the need to,” she admitted, “our connection was deeper than any photo.”

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What Felicity didn’t expect was for Ali to mail her a $4,000 check. As a token of his appreciation, he said. “I accepted his offer, what could possibly go wrong?” So Felicity provided Ali with her bank account information so that he could transfer the money. The transaction did appear on her account, but the check was taking longer than expected to clear. She called customer service to accuse them of irresponsibility when the bank’s rep explained that there had been some fraudulent activity on her account. It finally hit Felicity: Ali scammed her.

“I was in denial and chose to ignore all the red flags,” she shared. Embarrassed, she denied knowing anything about the transaction. Chase had no other option but to close her account.

You’d think that be enough for a woman to move on, but Felicity didn’t have much self-worth.

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“I should’ve learned my lesson but I wasn’t done with Ali just yet.”

She kept in contact with Ali like nothing ever happened. Soon, he asked to book a $10,000 plane ticket to New York. “He said we would get married and he’d bring his family to attend the wedding,” Felicity said. And she believed him. Without hesitation, she mailed Ali $10,000 – and he disappeared. Felicity was left with broken promises and a broken heart.

“I was a fool to believe all the shit he was feeding me… I guess I was desperate.”

And desperation can only lead to poor decision making, low self-esteem and so much disappointment.

Alanna is an aspiring writer and editor. Currently a student at Lehman College pursuing her degree in Media Communication Studies, she spends her leisure time hopping from beauty shop to beauty shop, comparing natural hair products for curly gals. The proud Afro Latina was often told she had “pelo malo” (bad hair) and she wants to put a stop to the damaging idea that straight hair is the only hair that will land you a dream job or man. A promoter of self-love, Alanna also encourages women of all backgrounds to love themselves and to not conform to patriarchal norms.