Dating Story

We Slept Together & Then He Dumped Me on a Public Bus

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It was a warm March afternoon, and as soon as I left my house I realized I was overdressed. I was sweating profusely; it was a combination of nerves and the weather.

I was on my way to meet Mr. Emotionally Distant, a guy I met through a friend one night at a bar. I never wanted to go to that bar in Jackson Heights, Queens. What’s the point of going to Jackson Heights when my friends and I could do something cool and exciting in Manhattan?  Of course I caved (I usually cave for my friends) because my friend wanted to meet up with her boy thing and his buddies.

Bar Drunk Guys

Now, here I am, on my way to see Mr. ED after months of “dating.” I use the word “dating” loosely because he showed very little affection, and one day asked, “Do you think we’re dating?” I said I wasn’t sure because, well, I wasn’t. “I think we’re more like ‘friends,'” he added quickly. If we’re friends, why do you kiss me, Mr. ED? I thought. And stop touching my butt!

PLUS: I Fell for a Guy Who Warned Me Not to Get Attached

On this warm March day we agreed to watch a movie, order food and relax at his place. I was excited to possibly cuddle with him while watching a movie; I thought, that’s a real couple-y thing to do. I daydreamed about us becoming official, introducing him to my friends and family.

Once I got to his house, he immediately led me to his bedroom and turned on the TV. I suggested we watch a documentary, but he jumped to kissing my neck instead. Like the Netflix screen was still on the home page. I felt nervous again.

He kissed my lips and tried to unbuckle my belt. I stopped and looked up at him. “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous,” I said.

Do I really want to do this? I don’t actually think I want to do this. I want to go home. 

He looked at me sweetly and said, “It’s okay, so am I.”

I believed him. I felt so much better. He then took my hand, as if he were about to kiss it and make me feel better –  and placed it on top of his penis.

OMG Really

I literally didn’t know what to do. So I just let go. I didn’t want it! But, I didn’t leave. Instead, we continued kissing and he kept trying to jump my bones. I was conflicted. I was 19, and I wanted this guy to like me. I figured he would if I slept with him.

“Wait,” I said. “Have you been tested?” I asked. Breathy and frustrated, he quickly said yes.

“Why? You wanna do it raw?” he added.

“No!” I replied.

He took a condom from his drawer and proceeded. And I didn’t stop it. I was feeling all sorts of things: regret, stressed, scared. I didn’t feel ready to sleep with Mr. ED, but it was too late.

He didn’t make eye contact with me the entire time. We finished and awkwardly cuddled. I was still super sweaty, and for like no reason. My pores were probably crying.

sweating nerves

He suddenly shot up out of bed and said he had to go. I promptly started to gather my things and got dressed. I couldn’t find my damn socks but we were out the door within ten minutes. He suggested taking the bus together to the train. Though I wanted to walk to the train by myself, I agreed, and we ran to the stop. More sweat.

It was a particularly crowded bus, and sticky too. Super humid outside, my mustache sweat was on point. I had just straightened my hair, and I could see curls forming in my reflection on the bus window. Sweat now accumulated under my armpits.

“Should’ve just walked,” I thought, while I wiped the sweat off of my upper lip.

He started talking to me about the night before: how we he went out with girls, how he met another girl who wanted to be a journalist, and how he had a ton of friends who wanted to write. Including me.

I’m his friend who wants to become a journalist, I thought. Just another friend.

When we got off the bus, he kissed me on the cheek. “See you next time,” he said.

MORE: How to Find Closure After He Ghosts On Your Relationship

Mr. ED walked away towards his side of the train. I walked all the way to the end of the platform, sweaty and upset. I felt dirty and rejected. Mr. ED apparently sleeps with his friends. We were “friends.” He was in this for one thing only: sex. Once he got it he was out.

We never spoke again.

Christina Cardona is a hopeless romantic and a total Queens girl. Over the years she has realized that mostly all experience is good experience, and there is a lesson in everything. She plans to share her dating faux pas and help women of all ages understand that sometimes life just happens - and that's ok! When she is not persuading others that knows girls can do anything boys can do, you can find her in a yoga class or walking neighborhood dogs.