Dating Story

But We Were Never Official!

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A few years ago I dated Mr. Indecisive. After three months, I realized I didn’t really know where we stood romantically. We saw each other regularly, but were we in a relationship? Or, were we just casually hooking up? I had no idea. We never discussed it. So, one night while spending the night at his place I figured it would be a good time to ask.

“What are we?” I asked. Silence. It’s like I dropped a bomb. We lied still. His heartbeat quickened.

PLUS: When a Guy Is All Talk But No Action

“Uh, what do you think we are?” he finally spoke up.

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.” I shrugged. Then asked him the same question again. And again. And again.

“We’re…uh…I don’t know…uh…dating, I guess?” Mr. Indecisive responded with clear hesitation.

It was like pulling teeth so I didn’t feel assured at all. I realized we were keeping it casual and that he didn’t want a relationship. I needed to accept that or end things completely.

The following night my friends and I went out to a bar and met a couple of guys. One of them was the cutest guy I’ve ever seen, I’m not exaggerating. And he decided to talk to me! He had big eyes and a warm smile. He was so sweet and funny. I liked everything about him and I wanted to get to know him.

After a few days of texting and calling, New Guy asked me out to dinner. We had an amazing first date and I was head over heels. As for Mr. Indecisive, I had been ignoring his calls. I wanted to forget about him and focus on New Guy. But, one day I figured that wasn’t the right thing to do; I decided to pick up Mr.Indecisive’s call so we could have “the talk.”

“Hey! How’s my girl doing? My friend Robbie and his girlfriend want to go out on a double date,” he said.

Double date? What? I didn’t think any of his friends knew I existed, I thought.

“Why do they want to go on a double date with us?” I asked.

“Haha, why wouldn’t they? You’re my girlfriend, after all. They’re excited to meet you!” Mr. Indecisive replied.

MORE: Why You Didn’t Get That Third Date

Since when were we in a relationship? I thought.  When we had the initial “talk” I definitely didn’t count his half-assed answers as defining our relationship. We were never official. And he had to know. I decided to be decisive and cut things off with Mr. Indecisive, and happily continued dating New Guy. Mr. Indecisive never completely understood why, but here’s a clue: he didn’t take me seriously so, uh, bye.

Christina Cardona is a hopeless romantic and a total Queens girl. Over the years she has realized that mostly all experience is good experience, and there is a lesson in everything. She plans to share her dating faux pas and help women of all ages understand that sometimes life just happens - and that's ok! When she is not persuading others that knows girls can do anything boys can do, you can find her in a yoga class or walking neighborhood dogs.