Dating Story

I Attract Crazy Men…Or Am I Just Crazy?

By  | 

I’m convinced that I’m cursed because I attract crazy men. This magnetic pull to crazy? It can be a trending topic on Twitter: #DateMeCrazyGuy. My friends, however, think that my love life is in this state because I’m crazy. Cause crazy attracts crazy.

But, I’m so level headed and cool tempered and sharp! I’m fine! Besides, if I am slightly crazy, it’s only cause I’m crazy for looooove!

Love, unfortunately, has eluded me for 6 years. It’s been 6 whole years since I’ve had a man in my life. So I decided to be slightly crazy and gave a guy I was “familiar” with on Facebook a chance to get to know me. We could test the waters! Only I added him as my boyfriend on Facebook.

PLUS: I Couldn’t Tame the Crazy After My Breakup

Yup, I did that. I tagged him in that dreadful “in a relationship” Facebook status before even knowing the sound of his voice.

I figured we were on the same page. Even though he lived in Texas and I in Florida, everything would work itself out, so who cares if announced to the digital world that he was my man! I got myself a-kind-of-companion. Someone I could spend my time with and travel to. This is my man and the world shall know it via social media because that’s how we do it on Facebook!

Lord, did this relationship status receive attention from our mutual “friends.” Little did they know we literally just exchanged phone numbers. Still, we kept our sort of relationship alive. A week in and my “new guy” and I texted often; that’s when I noticed the red flags.

He asked his mother to give him money to pay his bills. You know, to survive.

He called himself a “hustler” but only worked one day a week.

His “hustle” was giving a guy down the street $2.00 haircuts.

When his mother refused to help him with his finances he blew up at her and I suddenly became his anger management, career development, financial advisement counselor. I felt drained just by his crazy texts. Oh yeah…I said texts because the man NEVER called me EVER. He never heard the sweet sound of my beautiful voice.

Aside from my jumping the gun on the “boyfriend” thang, my intuition warned me to run. I felt nauseous by just the thought of him. So the next morning I told him in the most amicable way that we could not continue our relationship.

“I don’t mind supporting and helping you, but we should just be friends.”

“Okay cool.”

Phew! That went well.

“Don’t ever talk to me again! I am going to block you now. I wish we never met!” And he went off the deep end.

The entire time he berated me I thought, whoa, wait a minute! I was nice to you and, secondly, we never met in person, crazy! Instead, I responded, “Ok, thanks for showing me your true colors.”

I went about my day, shopping and treating myself to a manicure, when I receive a dozen inbox messages from concerned friends, asking me what happened with my boyfriend. Status after status, he talked about how terrible women are. How you “can’t trust bitches” or “no nappy headed ho.” How he’s “hurt that he’s single again” Oh, and, “I miss my mom.” Yes, the same mom he complained about for not giving him money.

The icing on the cake? He posted a picture on Facebook of him crying. REAL TEARS! He acted like I ran him over with a car, pulled out his heart and stomped all over it. Then kicked his heart over a fence, turned around and laughed in his face before running off. It was so insane that I wrote a public post addressing the situation. I came clean: we never talked on the phone even though he was my boyfriend and I did nothing to hurt this man.

Luckily, I have a sense of humor. I can now look back at this story and laugh. And I did learn big lesson: crazy may just be as crazy does. Myself included!

Jeanine is a self-proclaimed dating mishap expert. This Pisces often dips her creative toes in arts and culture, and has a passion for spoken word, playwriting, creative writing, and lyrical writing. As a native New Yorker living in Orlando, FL, Jeanine has a unique perspective on city and beach life. Her extensive Sociology and Higher Education background allows her to see dating, love, and women’s empowerment issues from various viewpoints as she adds a twist of humor and lessons learned to her stories.