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Ask Sujeiry: He’s Hold and Cold. So Is He Interested or Not?

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Dear Sujeiry,

There is a guy I just met and it seemed to me as if it was going well. We were talking a lot and also hanging out a lot. All at once he stopped texting me as much and also inviting me to hang out. Sometimes he is so up to hang out and he writes me a lot. Sometimes he is too cold and doesn’t do anything. Why do you think this is? Is he suddenly uninterested in me?


Hot and Cold, In and Out


Dear Hot and Cold, In and Out,

This guy seems to be playing games. With the little information you’ve given me that’s all I can deduce. Unless you are casually dating. If this is the case, he’s probably dating other women and taking your relationship (is it really a relationship?) as it comes. That’s why he calls when he wants and hangs out with you when he wants. Key phrase: when he wants!

Also, ask yourself these questions: Do I get to see him when I like? Is he only available when he desires? Can I schedule a time to see him or just call him to hang out? If you’ve answered no to these questions you are dating him on his terms. Is that what you want?

[ALSO READ: Is He My Man or Not? Defining Your Undefined Relationship]

As for if he’s interested, it doesn’t look good! He may not be looking to get into something serious. He may also not think he’s doing anything wrong. Honestly, if this thing is in the early stages, he really isn’t. Now you have to decide if you want to keep dating him or not. You can keep it casual and have fun, but only if your feelings aren’t being played with. If you feel you really like him and he’s not meeting you halfway, you should put your foot down and not see him the next time he asks to hang out. Or you should date another guy that cares enough to see you often because he loves spending time with you!

Love strongly and wisely,


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Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.