I’ve heard this from many assertive women: men are intimidated by me. I usually brushed it off as overconfidence but after a while, I started to believe. They can’t all be cocky, right? There must be some truth to this , right? Right.
Many men say that they want a woman who is hardworking and independent; in the same breath, they hate it when they aren’t needed enough. When she is too busy. When she works too hard. When she spends too much time with her friends. When she makes more money than he does. And yes, even when women are too assertive and pursue them.
It’s not just the men who sabotage relationships with this mindset.
Assertive women set themselves up for failure when dating.
Often times assertive women don’t let men court them. They chase. They do. They boss up and demand and, yes, intimate men. I am not saying you shouldn’t be yourself, that women should bow their heads, and be submissive and mousy and let men lead. There just has to be a balance.
Women set the tone and met set the pace.
Let men set the pace. Let men take initiative and drive some of the relationship. Let the man you’re interested in ask you out, and if you just aren’t that type of woman and must take charge, allow him to take charge sometimes as well.
I know what you’re thinking: isn’t this asking us to turn back the clock and revert to the olden days? Shouldn’t we do what we want, dammit? True. You can also think of this as a dance. That’s one of the most important things I’ve learned about relationships: it’s a tango. It takes two, yes, and sometimes you take a step ahead and let your partner lead.
Let someone else lead.
So what say you, assertive women? Will you take responsibility for your behavior? Will you meet a potential interest half way? Listen to episode 35 of Love Sujeiry: Talk Served Raw for more on this and all things love.