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Your Abuela Is Having More Sex Than I Am

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“You should have sex at least twice a week.” 

I stare at Mami as if an alien has taken over her plump body before replying, “Uuuuh, we’re tired. We have a 9 month old, we work…it’s a lot.”

“That doesn’t matter,” she retorts while flipping a chuleta over in a frying pan, “if you’re not having sex at least twice a week, you’re relationship is in trouble.”

Well, I guess Boo and I are doomed. Cause that shit just ain’t happenning. 

I love sex. I really, really do. And I love having sex with Boo. We’re lucky enough to say that we are still attracted to one another and still enjoy humping. But…this parent thing isn’t as easy as we thought it would be. Boo especially.

“People always complain about being parents and how tired they are, ” he said when I was 8 months pregnant, “but not every situation is the same!” 

I nodded although I knew he was wrong. I have close friends and family with kids, and I’ve witnessed first hand how life changes when you take on the role of parent. I know relationships change. And I know you’re fucking exhausted for the first year or two after having the baby. 

Still, I lied.

“Yeah, it’s different for everyone,” I replied. I didn’t want to disagree with Boo, I didn’t want to pop his bubble. Ignorance is bliss and I was allowing him to revel in his fantasy for a little while.

Funny thing, I am even shocked at how much having a baby has affected my relationship. I knew it would be different, that having a baby would alter our union and that being parents means we have to put Evan first. Sometimes even before our relationship. I just didn’t think it would affect our sex life as much as it has.

Boo and I never had sex every day, at least not since the beginning of our relationship. We did, however, have sex multiple times a week. After Evan, not so much. But it’s not just because of Evan. After having the baby, I got very sick and stayed in the NICU for a week. More health problems followed suit. Trust me, there’s nothing sexy about shingles and mutiple Cat-Scans. It was a very trying time and we’re just getting back to us. 

I’m just getting back to me…although I feel I have a ways to go to be Sujeiry again, and not just mother. Independent woman, boss lady, and sexy and freaky AF fiance. THAT Sujeiry. 

So, sorry mom, that Boo and I aren’t getting it on as frequently as abuelitas. Oh, you didn’t hear? Grandparents are having lots of sex. Christine Heumann, a doctor at Detroit Medical Center’s Receiving Hospital and medical director at the Detroit Public Health STD Clinic, reported that although older people are living longer they’re also having more sex with multiple partners. The old people’s home is popping because 65 is the new 45! Heeeeey!

Old lady lips wrinkled

There’s just one thing: a study reports that old folks are having unprotected sex. Another shocking statistic: a quarter of those with HIV in the United States are 55 and older.

Now I wonder what Mami has been doing on the down low, since she’s so adamant that I jump Boo’s bones even when covered in throw up. It doesn’t matter if I feel like a zombie, I must ride Boo twice a week. I’m working on it mom – really. But first, let me get you a condom.

Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on Latina.com, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.