Sex

Best Dirty Texts To Send To Men, According To Guys

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Dirty texting adds another layer of flirtation and seduction to your relationship. It’s useful when you can’t physically be with each other, other times you just want to let him know that you’re thinking about him in explicit ways. Or, when you know you’ll be seeing him soon, a dirty text is great preliminary foreplay. A perfectly timed dirty text is always a great surprise. Although unexpected, your dirty words instantly ignite a smile and a halfy in his pants.

It’s just such a turn on knowing that someone desires you and thinks about you in all sorts of naughty ways. It makes a man feel sexy and wanted. So, what are some good dirty texts to send a guy? Here are several sample dirty texts according to guys:

  • “If you don’t get here in the next thirty minutes, I’m going to finish without you.”

This will inspire him to move through the streets frantically, like it’s Independence Day and the aliens are invading planet earth in T-minus 30 minutes. The only safe place to hide is inside of your vagina!

  • “I’m soaking wet…and it’s all your fault.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about you all day…and now I’m so wet…I’m sitting in a puddle.”

Guys love hearing about how wet and turned on you are. Particularly if they’re the source of inspiration.

  • “I can’t wait to be naked with you later☺”
  • “I want you inside me. I’m going to fuck you slow later so I can savor every inch of you.”
  • “Get your rest babe, you will need all your energy for me tonight☺”

PLUS: 10 Ways A Guy Will Text You When He Likes You

Text messages like this will really fuck up his workday – in a good way. He’s going to be preoccupied with what is going down later on. Important career-defining deadline? Nah, it’s got nothing on your vagina. Don’t worry, he won’t you blame when he’s fired.

  • “I just played with myself. I was thinking of you when I came.”
  • “I’m touching myself. Too bad you aren’t here.”

This is where the male ego slow claps for itself.

  • “The thoughts I was having about you were so dirty that I had to take a shower.”
  • “I have so many dirty thoughts today…guess who inspired them?”

When a guy knows he’s taking up that dirty-thought real estate, he feels like a wealthy land owner. He gets to live in some of the most coveted real estate on the market. Who wants to fuck in the laundry room?

  • “I can’t sleep — all I can think about is what we would be doing if you were here right now.”

This guy could be watching a Humpback whale and a dolphin high-fiving while jumping through mid-air. It wouldn’t matter. When he reads this message he will just want to be with you.

  • “All I can think about is how I can’t wait to see my clothes on the floor next to yours.”

He will immediately imagine your clothes skewed across the floor at the end of the bed, sweaty and ruffled sheets, and the sound of you moaning his name.

  • “The minute I walk in the door…in your front hallway…the kitchen counter…the bedroom is too long to wait.”

Don’t be be surprised if he’s fluffed and naked when he opens the door.

  • “My roommate is away this weekend, we can be as loud as we want – and I plan on being loud.”

After he reads this message, he’ll think, “It’s not your roommate you should be concerned about now…it’s your neighbors…or should I say…the entire neighborhood.”

  • “Let me be clear: when I see you later, I’m going to undress you button by button. I’m going to unzip your pants and take them off leg by leg. I’m going to take your boxers and throw them against a wall. What happens next is all up to you.”

Let me be clear: when you meet later on, no foreplay will be necessary.

All of these texts will drive him wild but, if you want to elevate your dirty digital behavior, send a picture. It’s a general consensus that men prefer a sexy picture over a sexy text. A picture is worth a thousand dirty words, right?

MORE: 7 Ways to Sext with Emojis

In the end, although dirty texts aren’t a relationship necessity, they can be an effective way to spice things up and engage in foreplay from afar. When used in the right way, at the right time, the right dirty text will interrupt his day by way of uncontrollable excitement, and require him to spend five minutes of “private time” to go and calm himself down.

Jamie Rea is a Canadian entrepreneur, relationship writer, and comedy writer who loves to combine humor with advice on various topics in dating and relationships. He is a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, so it’s not surprising his dream girl has a big sense of humor and an even bigger heart. He currently writes about relationships for multiple publications across Canada and the US, including Made Man, Elite Daily, and Mode Media.