Sex

18 Things Men Want Women To Know About Blow Jobs

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Men love blow jobs. That’s just common knowledge. But perhaps there are specific things surrounding blow jobs that some women are unsure of or curious to know. So to fill in any blanks as well as reinforce certain things, here are 18 things men want women to know about the glorious BJ.

Start slow and work your way to the shaft. Just as you wouldn’t want us to nose dive into your business without teasing or delaying gratification, men want you to work your way to their main prize slowly. Tease us and make us pine and squirm for it a little.

Start by licking the shaft from bottom-to-top. The head is the most sensitive part of the penis, so save it for last.

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Mix up speeds. A pitcher isn’t effective if they only have one pitch, they need other pitches to keep the hitters off balance. It’s the same thing with a blow job: you keep a guy on his toes and turn him on when you vary the speed and delivery. Go fast, slow down, go back to licking, then fast, and slow again.

Too much tip And biting is painful. I don’t need to explain why biting (raking) is painful. And as we mentioned before, the tip is the most sensitive area. Focusing too much pressure on that area brings more pain than it does pleasure.

Our fascination with the gag reflux is a real thing. Perhaps it’s too much porn consumption. Or it’s more likely that a guy gets turned on by a girl who’s willing to go to that great of a length (or depth) to give him pleasure. It’s also a control shift — women are in control the whole time, except for the few moments during the gag reflux.

Make eye contact. If you want to drive a guy crazy and get him to cum faster, make eye contact with him. There’s a couple reasons why we love this: seeing your eyes glazed over with complete pleasure is so gratifying for us, and it also shows that you’re sexually in-charge and confident.

Don’t neglect the balls. Just as we should never neglect your nipples, you should never neglect our balls. The balls are a key component of a blow job. They’re like the snare drum of the blow job kit. Also, mix up your interaction with them: fiddle em’, lick em’, and grope em’ in your mouth ever so slightly. Just make sure you handle with immense care; they’re oh-so sensitive.

We like to play with your breasts. Speaking of nipples, guys love to play with breasts during oral sex. So take your shirt off and join him in his nakedness, it’s going to help you both get into it.

A Hand Job is part-time job. Hand Jobs allow you to take a breather. Also, the difference in friction can often help a guy get closer to climax. Use it enough so it’s part of the job but not so much that it becomes a full-time hand job.

We hate it when you ask, “are you close?” Okay, when we’re taking a long time to ejaculate, we know it. We want to cum so damn badly, but sometimes it just isn’t going to happen, or we’re too much in our heads and psych ourselves out, unable to relax which in needed to climax. Sometimes we’re close but drop out of it for a second and have to work our way back to it. So if he’s already in that dreaded frame-of-mind, and also feels pressure from you to ejaculate, he’s won’t be finishing anytime soon or want to stop the blow job altogether.

Putting your hair up in a bun or ponytail is The Blow Job Signal. We always know we’re about to get lucky when we see that hair tie come off your wrist. In that moment, you’re our master walking over to feed us our doggy treat. Our tails wag and we start feverously spin in circles with uncontrollable and salivating excitement.

A surprise blow job is the best blow job. The surprise, impromptu blow job is the best kind because it doesn’t feel forced on your part. Actually, it tells us that you enjoy giving them, as much as we enjoy receiving them.

Your facial expressions turn us on. We don’t mean to be degrading when we grab or play with your hair. Often we just want to remove your hair (if not in a bun or ponytail) from your face so we can see your facial expressions because it’s such a turn on.

Finishing in your mouth is the best. Thing. EVER. Even better than finishing during sex (as if you didn’t know that already). While it’s rare that a blow job will actually be completed all the way to ejaculation, when it does happen, there’s simply no better feeling for a guy. Besides, there’s no mess for us to clean up.

A finger-graze over the butt hole may be acceptable. Some guys absolutely love this. A lot are scared of it and sensitive about it. And a lot hate it as well. Yes, a finger grazing, even slightly entering, the butt hole, can intensify the pleasure of the blow job, particularly during climax (that’s the direction the prostate is located). But proceed with major caution. Ask him if he’s comfortable with it. If so, let him guide your hand/finger (some guys who are really into it will do that), or very slowly work in that direction and see how he responds. The area between the balls and butt hole is extremely sensitive so use that area as a testing ground.

We don’t like it when you jump up  halfway through. If he doesn’t ejaculate, the guy will likely tap out from the blow job and want to progress to another sexual activity. Let him dictate that point and pull you up when he’s ready.

Do not take a vow of silence. Silence makes the blow job seem chore-like, as if you’re obliged to complete this duty and you’re just quietly putting your head down until the job is finished. It turns us on and we have an easier time relaxing (and finishing) when we know you’re getting pleasure from it as well. So, make a little noise throughout.

With great blow job-giving ability, comes great power. If you know how to give a man great oral pleasure, you can suck him into doing just about anything for you (not that you should take advantage of it or anything).

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One of the most important takeaways: those who are the best at giving oral pleasure are usually those who enjoy it the most and receive the most amount of pleasure from doing it. Some women may think blow jobs are degrading, but it’s actually empowering to you because you’re at the throne, in complete and utter control of the man’s most sensitive and pleasurable areas. And he’s at your mercy, trusting you with all his manhood in your mouth, that you will handle him with care.

Jamie Rea is a Canadian entrepreneur, relationship writer, and comedy writer who loves to combine humor with advice on various topics in dating and relationships. He is a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, so it’s not surprising his dream girl has a big sense of humor and an even bigger heart. He currently writes about relationships for multiple publications across Canada and the US, including Made Man, Elite Daily, and Mode Media.