What’s Breadcrumbing? And Why It’s Worse Than Ghosting

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“When I was single I was breadcrumbed,” I admitted to Jessica. 

“Wait, what’s breadcrumbing?!” she asked, her dark brown eyes as wide as saucers.

“Imagine a pigeon is eating a muffin,” I began, “he picks, picks and picks at that muffin and leaves breadcrumbs everywhere – and never really finished the muffin. I was the muffin and the guy…pigeon.” 

Jessica laughs so hard her dark, long mane swings back and forth like a wild and beautiful mare. The model, actress and reality TV bride best known for marrying that asshole on Married at First Sight (Season 2) has been ghosted before, so she can relate to my sad sad tale. 

Jessica Castro of Married at First Sight on Love Sujeiry

Ah, yes, about that. The antagonist of my story is Paco, who would constantly entertain my loving feelings by texting, tweeting and emailing me on Facebook messenger. He would flirt. He would hint at a relationship. And when we talked on the phone, he would share his deepest secrets. Then we went to my sisters wedding and he slept with another girl. Yeah. That happened. 

So you see how I was the yummy muffin and he was the dirty pigeon. He led me on by showering me with limited attention. He never promised anything specific, which is the best way to play with someone’s feelings. I thought we were working toward having a relationship. And then he ate someone else’s muffin.

This is the epitome of breadcrumbing, which is way worse than ghosting. When you’re ghosted you don’t get closure. The person just disappears. But at least the “relationship” is severed. With breadcrumbing, the “relationship” drags on. 

Breadcrumbing can also happen when you’re in a relationship. How does someone lead you on then? Well, if you’re an item and you’re the muffin in the equation, your partner (the filthy pigeon) is pushing you away. He or she is distant, disconnected and disinterested in making it work, yet they don’t break up with you. It’s the slow painful death of a relationship.  And Jessica Castro and I talked all about it on Love Sujeiry: Talk Served Raw on reVolver Podcasts. Listen up! And shame on you, pigeons!

Do you have a story of breadcrumbing or ghosting? Need advice on how to get over a wretched pigeon? Jessica Castro and I are taking your questions! Email [email protected]  Also, if you missed me dishing with Jessica on Love Sujeiry: Talk Served Raw, listen here.

Love Sujeiry is an aspirational lifestyle brand for Latinas and women of color that champions authenticity and manifestation. The owner and founder, Sujeiry Gonzalez, is the host of “Love Sujeiry: Dish Served Raw" on reVolver Podcasts. Previously, she hosted a show on SiriusXM in NYC and Exitos 93.9FM in Los Angeles. The content creator has also been featured on Latina.com, YourTango, Cosmo, Momstatic, Mommynoire, NBC Latino as she inspires women to dish on love, sex, and relationships, and to be their best selves. Sujeiry tells it like it is and shares her triumphs, devastating blows, tales of new mami life, and her creative career moves on her web series, "Love Bytes with Sujeiry," where she is authentically herself and holds nothing back. Ultimately, Love Sujeiry serves to entertain and inspire women to live authentically, find fulfillment through manifestation, love themselves, follow their passions and never ever settle.